rant · moment 11 of 26
Bad Austin Hookup Stories and Dating Scene
from #280 - Nervous Neurotic Animal | The Tim Dillon Show · #280
3 min
Tim recounts unpleasant dating experiences in Austin, describing awkward, try-hard sex with emotionally damaged locals versus his idealized vision of sexy, international Miami.
- Miami is white marble floors and cocaine, Austin is sad sex
- Tim describes the caliber of men he dated: one came out as gay and was high, another was told by his father he'd burn in hell
- Sex in Austin is weird collegiate sex without heat, people trying to fuck their way into being someone they're not
- People hook up with someone who's really trying, but not in a good way—it's roadkill sacks, not animalistic
- Miami has sexy international people; Tim works on his body and has international flair
- Tim's future plan: skin-tight catsuits, eight-inch heels, stop debating, and put his ass on the street in a Balenciaga onesie
- He's leaving discussions and debates, this country's finished, might start smoking crystals because there's no point debating anymore
- Just go out and have fun, but not in Austin—go to Dallas and suck off some CFO instead