Episode 274 · The Ben Avery Era
#274 - Tourettes Gang | The Tim Dillon Show
Oct 24, 2021 · 55:22 · 417,000 views · 24 segments, 123 moments indexed
Tim Dillon discusses the new phenomena of developing tics from watching Tik Tok, the passing of the great and honorable Colin Powell, and the paranoid American beliefs around Halloween.
Watch on YouTubeDiscuss on Reddit
- 1 min
Cold Open: Quick Episode Warning
#Tim announces this will be a shorter 45-minute episode due to being on tour, and warns listeners not to complain.
1moment
- Tim opens with a warning that this week's episode will be a quick one—around 45 minutes instead of the usual hour because he's on tour.
- 2 min
Colin Powell's Death and the Iraq War Lie
#Tim reflects on Colin Powell's death, calling him the first Black person to sell a big lie to the UN about WMDs, and recounts believing the Iraq War propaganda as a teenager.
5moments
- Colin Powell was the first Black person to tell a big lie about Iraq to the UN, and he knew it was a lie.
- Dick Cheney and his crew of goblins got Powell to go in and sell the Iraq war to the American public.
- Tim believed in 11th or 12th grade that the US needed to go into Iraq and democratize the Middle East because people there hated us for being free.
- The Iraq war was supposed to fix problems, pressure Iran, and force anti-democratic regimes to become thriving societies that respect the rule of law.
- Powell went to the UN and gave a convincing speech about Saddam Hussein having weapons of mass destruction, which was a black mark on his career.
- 1 min
Colin Powell's Covid Death and New Studio Talk
#Tim notes Powell died of complications from cancer despite being vaccinated, then pivots to mentioning they're building a new studio with a new realtor.
2moments
- Colin Powell had cancer attacking his immune system, which is why vaccination status didn't matter in his case.
- Tim and the show are recording a week early because they're working with a new realtor on a studio being built.
- 3 min
The Two Types of Realtors
#A long riff dissecting the real estate industry into two archetypes: menopausal older women realtors and 'broly' young guys who want to 'crush it,' both equally unhelpful, backed up with real estate demographic statistics.
6moments
- Realtors fall into two categories: older menopausal women suffering mild brain damage, or young bro guys who want to crush it.
- The middle-aged female realtor treats every new client like a new husband, repeating the same pattern of letdown she's practiced for 30 years.
- Average employed real estate agent is 48 years old — usually a menopausal woman having hot flashes.
- The other type is a young chocolate bro guy who got into real estate because he wants to crush it and fuck crush it.
- The menopausal woman deals solely in emotions and vague reassurance; the bro guy says they'll make it happen — neither actually gets anything done.
- 156,000 real estate agents currently employed in the U.S., with 53 percent women and 42 percent men, making it a female-dominated field.
- 1 min
Bad Realtor Stories: Palm Springs, Malibu, Texas
#Tim recounts specific bad experiences with realtors in Palm Springs, Agoura Hills, Malibu, and Texas, complaining that clients do all the actual work of finding homes themselves.
3moments
- Tim's realtor in Palm Springs fit the demographic of lazy, incompetent agents he'd been describing.
- The woman in Texas was the best of them, though still not perfect.
- He's building out a new studio for the show to take it into the post-COVID era.
- 2 min
Hired at SNL for a George Floyd Cook-Off Sketch
#Tim jokes he's been hired at SNL to write a sketch mocking activism-as-performance via a George Floyd-themed cooking competition, claiming the entire cast is walking out over it.
7moments
- Tim announces he's been hired at SNL but the network hasn't announced it yet.
- The sketch Tim pitched: a George Floyd cook-off where people make food to honor his memory.
- The sketch's actual target is activists who promote themselves rather than the causes they claim to support.
- Tim explains the premise: a cooking competition where contestants show their activism through food and accuse each other of racism and cultural appropriation.
- SNL is making the George Floyd cook-off as the opening sketch.
- The entire SNL cast walked out in protest, so it's just Tim and Lauren against everyone else.
- Tim invites people to DM him or show up at SNL if they want to be in the sketch.
- 7 min
Tim discusses a news story about an oil tanker crew stranded off Dubai for years without pay after their shipping company went bankrupt, riffing on how they survived, why they haven't left, and pitching it as a movie about the crew possibly turning gay from isolation.
10moments
- A crew of people abandoned at sea for three years without pay on an oil tanker
- Tim explains why Emirates has the best airline: fear of consequences, unlike Delta or American
- A shipping company from the UAE hit financial trouble in 2017 and abandoned an oil tanker off Dubai
- Dubai is built on slave labor and has everything indoors because of extreme heat
- The company abandoned the ship with a small crew aboard, left stranded without pay or a way home
- Tim notes the crew stayed stranded through the entire pandemic, socially distanced from the world
- Question of how the crew ate without money, possibly by fishing or relying on charity organizations
- The men lived in the same clothes for months, washing in cold water or sea water
- Tim pitches the story as movie material about men existing on a boat for three years
- Tim jokes that a three-year all-male crew would turn into a gay Muslim oil tanker film like Brokeback Mountain
DubaiEmiratesUnited Arab EmiratesMT IbaAmerican AirlinesDelta
- 1 min
Helicopter Parents vs. Neglect and Random Fate
#Tim riffs on generational parenting styles between total neglect and helicopter parenting, tying it back to the idea that you can't plan for ending up gay on an oil tanker.
3moments
- Tim identifies the real problem: his generation's parents didn't care at all, versus helicopter parents who strategize every moment of their child's life.
- He urges parents listening to find a happy medium between dropping kids off at Pizza Hut unsupervised and planning every single moment.
- You can't plan everything—sometimes you end up on a ship discovering you're gay, and that's just life.
- 2 min
A sponsor read for BlueChew that spirals into a brutal riff about a loser jerking off in his mother's basement comparing himself to a stable pharmacist friend.
3moments
- Blue Chew is a chewable form of viagra and cialis that works anytime, day or night, on a full or empty stomach.
- Tim explains Blue Chew's advantages: discreet, online, diagnosed by medical professionals, shipped to your house—no awkward pharmacy encounters with people who became more successful than you.
- Tim launches into a tangent about a guy living in his mother's basement with erectile dysfunction from excessive porn consumption and a low-level grifting lifestyle.
- 2 min
A sponsor read for Watch Gang claiming women won't sleep with men without a watch, riffing on fantasies about sleeping with your brother's wife and workplace resentment.
4moments
- Tim claims there are two types of guys in the world: watch guys and guys whose dicks don't work.
- Watch guys get sloppy wet pussy; no one will have sex with you without a watch.
- Tim describes needing a watch for when your brother tells you he's leaving his wife because you want to sleep with her.
- You need a watch for the moment when you ask your boss for a raise, he says no, and you go back to your cubicle prison anyway because you're afraid to bet on yourself.
Watch GangRolexSeiko
- 5 min
Tim discusses a news story about teen girls developing tic disorders possibly linked to TikTok, riffing on his own real motor tics, and expanding into a bit about modern 'mild homosexuality' now meaning dyed hair rather than sex acts.
9moments
- Teen girls showing up to doctors with tics that experts think anxiety, depression, and TikTok could be causing.
- Tourette syndrome is a genetic nervous system disorder causing repetitive involuntary movements or sounds, mostly impacting boys but also women.
- Women's tics appear to be exacerbated by content they're watching on TikTok.
- Kids want to fit in and join a community, so they adopt tics as part of the initiation to belong to the Tourette's community online.
- TikTok is full of Tourette's cooking and alphabet challenges where people scream slurs while cooking.
- Tim claims he has mild homosexuality and compares it to the modern version of being gay, which he says has shifted from sexual acts to dyeing your hair.
- Being queer now means rejecting the gender binary and claiming pansexuality while having blue hair and only having sex with your boyfriend.
- Kids show doctors TikTok content of people with Tourette's cooking and doing alphabet challenges.
- If social media is giving you Tourette syndrome, isn't it time to take a break.
TikTokTourette syndrome
- 3 min
Social Contagion and Disorders as Community
#Tim theorizes that kids fake or amplify disorders online to find community since technology has flattened personalities, and connects this to non-binary identification trends and old social contagion panics around gay people.
6moments
- Tim describes TikTok communities where people claim autism or Asperger's and perform stimming behaviors together because they see it as popular and interesting.
- Technology has flattened everyone's ability to develop distinct personalities, so kids now acquire disorders as a way to distinguish themselves socially.
- Online, people bond primarily over shared suffering and problems rather than shared interests, which shapes how kids choose which disorders to adopt.
- Tim addresses social contagion—a term people avoid because it was historically used against gay people to dismiss their identities as mere peer pressure.
- He recalls coming from a time when being gay was actually special, before entire college classes started identifying as non-binary.
- Marilyn Manson's Antichrist Superstar was good for seventh-grade goth closeted gay guys discovering they could crush pills and snort them.
- 3 min
Steve Will Do It and the Nelk Boys
#Tim praises internet prankster Steve Will Do It and the Nelk Boys, discussing how their reckless partying content works because they're white, and jokes there's no equivalent 'Black Milk' group.
6moments
- Tim argues that people pursuing comfort arrange their lives socially, while those who accomplish things push through discomfort zones.
- Steve Will Do It is Tim's favorite emerging internet personality, advised to gain support before ending up in a Mexican jail.
- Steve gives away Teslas, loves watches, makes enormous money, and is part of Nelk Boys, a Canadian group of internet pranksters.
- The Nelk Boys can drink and do coke in front of cops without being shot because they're white—a black equivalent group couldn't pull off the same stunts.
- Steve Will Do It has one of the biggest emerging fashion brands with Full Send merch drops that sell out immediately.
- One of Tim's favorite Steve moments: he's standing in a casino VIP line, a woman questions why he's there, and he tells her to shut the fuck up.
- 3 min
Continued promotion of Steve Will Do It's Full Send merch and YouTube channel, listing his stunts, followed by a Keeps hair loss ad.
4moments
- Tim jokes that Takashi 6ix9ine and David Dobrik do philanthropy by helping young drunks secure drugs and alcohol for themselves.
- Steve Will Do It is dating a 31-year-old Latina woman despite being only 22 years old himself.
- Tim notes that not every 22-year-old with a drinking problem and mild autism becomes as successful as Steve Will Do It.
- Most people who attempt the kind of stunts Steve Will Do It does will die, yet he has not only survived but thrived.
- 3 min
Continued promotion of Steve Will Do It's Full Send merch and YouTube channel, listing his stunts, followed by a Keeps hair loss ad.
4moments
- Tim jokes that Takashi 6ix9ine and David Dobrik do philanthropy by helping young drunks secure drugs and alcohol for themselves.
- Steve Will Do It is dating a 31-year-old Latina woman despite being only 22 years old himself.
- Tim notes that not every 22-year-old with a drinking problem and mild autism becomes as successful as Steve Will Do It.
- Most people who attempt the kind of stunts Steve Will Do It does will die, yet he has not only survived but thrived.
- 2 min
A sponsor read for Crowd Health explaining it as a community-based alternative to traditional health insurance for paying medical expenses.
7moments
- Tim notes the government won't guarantee healthcare in the short term, making services like Crowd Health necessary.
- Crowd Health isn't insurance but a community-based alternative to pay medical expenses with flexible, affordable monthly memberships.
- Being in the Crowd Health community can save hundreds monthly and put thousands back in your pocket with transparent, customized pricing.
- The app lets you find and see any doctor in the country ranked one to five stars, scan bills and have Crowd Health handle them.
- Virtual care is available anytime, anywhere through the app to help manage medical debt within the health community.
- Crowd Health eliminates insurance middlemen and passes 100% of monthly membership fees directly to actual healthcare costs.
- Use promo code 'tim dillon' at crowdhealth.com/fit to get the first month free plus a risk-free thirty-day fitness wearable trial.
Crowd Health
- 3 min
Halloween Candy Rankings and Childhood Trick-or-Treating
#Tim and his guest discuss childhood Halloween memories at a religious school, then rank Halloween candies, with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups declared best, tied to a story about his parents' divorce.
7moments
- Tim attended a Jesus school where Halloween was allowed but kept innocent—dressing as skeletons and collecting candy, no haunted houses.
- Neighbors in the area were strict about satanic content; people wouldn't let their kids read Harry Potter.
- Tim argues Reese's peanut butter cups are the number-one candy for Halloween and rates best when frozen or in ice cream.
- When his parents announced their divorce, Tim found solace in frozen Reese's cups during the painful two-year separation and custody disputes.
- His wife prepared a Halloween bowl lacking Reese's and M&Ms but including Twix, Snickers, and Hershey's peanut butter.
- Kit Kat is marketed as a candy for older people who need a break, while Twix's slogan is to try both and pick a side.
- The question of candy preference in divisive times—whether to commit to one choice or embrace both options.
- 3 min
Halloween Gang Initiation and Poisoned Candy Myths
#Tim and his guest dig into old urban legends about gang initiations targeting trick-or-treaters and poisoned Halloween candy, questioning Snopes' credibility and citing real 2008 gang violence reports.
8moments
- Gang initiation myth: people feared gangs would kill trick-or-treaters on Halloween to complete their membership.
- Tim dismisses Snopes as unreliable, citing false Epstein entries as proof of its incompetence.
- Underneath the satanic panic hysteria, child molestation was actually happening on Halloween.
- 2008 saw gang initiation rumors peak: Virginia state police issued reports of potential Bloods targeting law enforcement on Halloween.
- Urban legend claimed drivers would kill you if you flashed your headlights to warn them theirs were off.
- Poisoned candy panic: parents warned kids to reject apples over fears of razor blades hidden inside.
- Americans told overweight children to avoid fruit candy while encouraging them to eat Reese's and Twix instead.
- Wikipedia has an entire entry dedicated to poisoned candy myths, revealing America's deep appetite for fear narratives.
SnopesTipper GoreJeffrey EpsteinBloodsPanteraMarilyn MansonOzzy Osbourne
- 3 min
Poisoned Apples, Xenophobia, and Fentanyl Celery Joke
#Continuing the candy myth riff, Tim connects poisoned food fears to industrial-era xenophobia about food made by strangers, then jokes about handing out fentanyl-dipped celery and healthy snacks to kids.
8moments
- Boomers told children everybody's going to kidnap you, poison your candy, gangs are good — this is how Tim grew up.
- The poison apple scare is straight out of Grimm's fairy tales, not based on actual candy poisoning.
- The xenophobic roots: food scares intensified during the industrial revolution when production moved from local trusted makers to strangers using unknown ingredients and unfamiliar machines.
- Why aren't xenophobes talking about poison burritos instead of poison apples?
- Tim notes apples took a beating with the poison and razor blade myths.
- Processed food corporations should be inspected before people eat their products, but Americans love unhealthy options.
- Sketch idea — door opens, Tim gives kids healthy food, they reject it because their mom said salad is poison.
- Kids want candy like Cadbury cream eggs, and it's an unhealthy country but that's what people want.
Halloween candy poisoningSnow WhiteGrimm's fairy tales
- 2 min
Faked Vaccine Side Effects and Performative Cancer Solidarity
#Tim and his guest discuss videos of people faking COVID vaccine side effects, leading into a riff on how Tim dislikes performative gestures like shaving heads in solidarity with cancer patients.
4moments
- Tim expresses concern that people might actually develop cancer just to fit in on social media.
- Videos circulated of people faking COVID vaccine side effects, though Tim acknowledges real side effects do exist.
- Tim says he found it patronizing when people shaved their heads in solidarity with someone who had cancer.
- Tim never liked viral videos of dogs greeting soldiers returning from Iraq, pointing out the soldier abandoned the dog to go kill people.
- 1 min
Solidarity Tattoos and Copying Kids' Interests
#Tim discusses a story about a dad tattooing his son's birthmark on himself, questioning whether such solidarity gestures are genuine or just embarrassing later.
2moments
- Tim on parents shaving their heads in solidarity with kids—it's supposed to make them feel better, but there's something odd about it.
- Tim's father never copied his interests, and Tim wouldn't expect him to—people need their own identities separate from their kids.
- 1 min
Tim plugs timdilloncomedy.com for tour dates and announces an upcoming UK tour including London, Ireland, and Scotland.
2moments
- Tim directs listeners to timdalecomedy.com for tour dates rather than reading them all out on air.
- After the current US tour, Tim announces a week-long UK tour spanning London, Ireland, and Scotland with details still being finalized.
- 2 min
Australia's Fascist Lockdowns
#Tim criticizes Australia's extreme COVID lockdown measures and surveillance, joking that the country's convict-descended population made it especially susceptible to authoritarianism.
5moments
- Tim plans to visit Australia once it reopens, remarking on how the country went full fascist mode during lockdowns.
- The supposedly chill, laid-back country where people grill turned out to be the place that brought the world's longest lockdowns.
- Australians were subject to intrusions like facial recognition software checking whether people had coffee in their cups when outside.
- Australia was particularly susceptible to fascism because its population is made up primarily of lazy and stupid criminals.
- Tim argues the government was able to trample over Australians' rights because too many people in the country lack resistance to authoritarianism.
- 4 min
The Great Resignation and Working at Houlihan's
#Tim riffs on the Great Resignation as people reassessing their lives post-pandemic, using a bit about a miserable Houlihan's waitress pitching 'famous shrooms' appetizers as a metaphor for unfulfilling work.
7moments
- The Great Resignation has gone global because the pandemic forced people to think about mortality and question whether they're wasting their lives.
- Tim uses Houlihan's as the example: workers wondering if they should spend their entire lives at a restaurant chain.
- He pulls up the Houlihan's menu and describes how servers have to pitch items like panko-crusted mushrooms with horseradish sauce to customers who don't want them.
- People are realizing they don't want to work at theme restaurants and want more out of life, but someone still has to do those jobs.
- Tim wrestles with the contradiction: he wants people to pursue their dreams, but he also needs his coffee order completed in under an hour.
- He'll explore this tension further on the Patreon: how to balance wanting people to be free while needing them to staff essential services.
- Tim compares the modern dilemma to slave owners who appreciated the music while the fields needed plowing—we're in a weird time.
great resignationHoulihan'sStarbucks