rant · moment 22 of 30

Cigarette Habit and Rental Car Smoking Fees

from #251 - Dirty Little Animals (ft. Ray Kump) | The Tim Dillon Show · #251

3 min

Tim complains about getting charged for smoking in a rental car and riffs about not being able to quit cigarettes despite the health risks, joking about no one quitting heroin either.

In this bit7 moments
  • Tim asks Fred to bring him a cigarette to smoke in the room and jokes about the $250 penalty.
  • Tim acknowledges he wants to quit but finds cigarettes taste too good, and jokes about bringing an ashtray everywhere as a soap dish.
  • He says cigarettes taste too goddamn good and he hasn't quit yet.
  • Tim rationalizes smoking by noting he's 70 years old and asking what the point of quitting is.
  • Tim distinguishes smoking from heroin: heroin causes you to strangle a baby or sleep with your infant, but cigarettes just mean you won't live to see future horrors.
  • He can't live to witness Jake Paul becoming president and the unimaginable horrors coming for humanity.
  • Tim describes a future so hot that you won't be able to leave your house at certain times, and admits he's not a global warming freak but the heat keeps getting worse.
Mentioned here

Jake Paul

All 30 moments in this episode →