rant · moment 5 of 28

Car Shopping with Alan the Range Rover Salesman

from #243 - Best of Patreon Vol. 2 | The Tim Dillon Show · #243

6 min

Tim tells an extended story about car shopping in the desert with Devin and Ida, focusing on hapless salesman Alan at a Range Rover dealership trying to close a deal despite Tim having no license or credit.

In this bit11 moments
  • Tim spent the past few days car shopping with his girlfriend in the desert, visiting seven dealerships in one day.
  • He's become addicted to car salespeople despite not knowing what car he wants or wanting to spend much money.
  • Range Rover salespeople act like they're doing you a favor, which is different from other dealership tactics.
  • Alan the salesman didn't know Tim doesn't have a driver's license until after letting him take a test drive.
  • Alan called his manager Bob claiming he had a good prospect, but had to admit the guy just needs to pass a driver's test first.
  • Tim is too large to fit comfortably in most cars at dealerships, which are designed for Europeans.
  • The only BMW that fits him is an old sedan model, which he doesn't want.
  • Alan marks the car as sold with Tim's name on it despite Tim having no license and only one $800 credit card.
  • Alan's manager reams him out for trying to sell a car to someone with no license and bad credit who talks about Patreon revenue.
  • Tim's last car was a 1999 Chevy Suburban he bought for $10,000 in 2007, which eventually got repossessed, leaving him carless for 11 years.
  • When the towing company called about liens and fees, Tim congratulated them and hung up without paying.
Mentioned here

Range RoverRay KumpBMWHarrison FordClear and Present DangerRolls RoycePatriot Games

All 28 moments in this episode →