rant · moment 26 of 28

Plans to Upstage the Wedding and Never Being a Best Man

from #243 - Best of Patreon Vol. 2 | The Tim Dillon Show · #243

6 min

Tim jokes about wanting to overshadow the wedding by claiming credit for it, discusses never having been a best man or attending many weddings, and reminisces about skipping ceremonies for the food.

In this bit9 moments
  • Tim describes his fantasy of standing up at the wedding to claim he made the entire event happen and that it's actually his day.
  • He insists the wedding was paid for by him, so he wants to recite the vows after the couple to reassert his dominance.
  • Tim says he'd bring a random 20-year-old to marry right there on the spot as his own wedding during their ceremony.
  • Tim wasn't planning to go to the guest's last wedding, citing a rough patch in their friendship around the time he was building out the dark studio.
  • His goal is to give them a present so nice that they both feel horrible and it asserts his dominance like a Stephen King billionaire character.
  • Tim might stand up at the reception and announce what expensive gift he gave them to make sure everyone knows about his present.
  • His backup plan for the best present: fire the guest from the show and bring Lisa instead.
  • Lisa fell asleep on his live stream on Twitch, which Tim thinks is hilarious and would absolutely watch as a format.
  • Tim says he's excited about the wedding and confirms it's going to be quick and painless.
Mentioned here

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All 28 moments in this episode →