rant · moment 8 of 12

Learning to Need No One: Friendship, Family, and Craving a New Pandemic Strain

from #242 - You're Money Now | The Tim Dillon Show · #242

8 min

Tim muses on realizing he doesn't need most relationships after a year of isolation, jokes about dreading seeing his mother and family again, and jokes about praying for a new COVID variant to avoid social obligations, plus a riff on immigrant detention centers and NFT-ing children out of cages.

In this bit10 moments
  • Tim says he'd kill himself when forced to see his friends again, unlike young people killing themselves from having no friends.
  • Not having friends is a mark of virtue and actually biblical—Christ didn't have any friends.
  • Tim predicts people will immediately start complaining about reopening once stores get crowded again.
  • LA traffic is back and people are throwing piñatas on Malibu beaches now that everything has reopened.
  • Tim's mother is locked in a nursing home and he's only been able to wave at her through the window and suggest NFTs.
  • If you didn't talk to someone over the past year, the pandemic showed you didn't actually need them.
  • All Tim needs is Ben and 500,000 domestic terrorists watching on the other side of the camera.
  • Tim prays every day for a new pandemic strain to avoid having to see people and attend Thanksgiving.
  • When you let kids out of the ICE cage, many say it sucked inside but wherever they're put next is also bad.
  • Tim asks if immigrant children detained at the border could be sold as NFTs to raise money to release them.
Mentioned here

Mark CubanBen Avery

All 12 moments in this episode →