The Sad Puppy Adoption Trip

• 42:11Tim describes visiting a dog adoption center where a returned husky had been abandoned by LA owners who wouldn't throw a frisbee with it.
• 43:00When asked about important dog qualities, Tim jokes one that can swallow the most cocaine, and the shelter worker does not appreciate the humor.
• 43:30Tim admits he's the guy who would bring a dog right back at the first sign of any problem.
• 43:51Shelter workers make every dog sound horrible when Tim shows up because they know he'll return it within hours.
• 44:30He explains he can't adopt a dog right now due to upcoming tour dates across Pennsylvania, Baltimore, Chicago, and Austin.
• 45:16Tim confesses he wants a purebred puppy who's very cute and happy, despite knowing this is controversial.
• 46:01Rescue dogs are losers and shouldn't be around children because many will attack them, Tim argues.
• 46:21Shelter workers should fabricate better origin stories for rescue dogs instead of saying they don't know where they came from.
• 46:46Purebred dogs have major health problems and short lifespans, so Tim wants a St. Bernard that only lives eight years.
• 47:32Tim calls rescue dogs homeless baby killers of uncertain origin that he wouldn't bring into his home, though COVID adoptions have reduced shelter executions.

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