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Ridge Wallet: Surviving Societal Collapse
from #207 - Whitney Webb Returns | The Tim Dillon Show · #207
5 min
SponsorRidge Wallet
An extended, increasingly apocalyptic riff on the Ridge Wallet sponsor read, imagining people beating each other for money and hiding the wallet in absurd places to avoid detection during coming chaos.
- Ridge Wallet pitch: minimal front-pocket wallet with 30,000 five-star reviews, comes in titanium, carbon fiber, and aluminum.
- Tim describes Ridge Wallet as providing calm and stability even while being beaten by protesters or police during societal collapse.
- Ridge Wallet's hidden advantage: it can fit in a rectum, under an armpit, in skin folds, between toes, or tucked under the penal organ.
- Wallet bulges make you a target for robbery and murder because people will see cash and kill you for Little Caesars money.
- Ridge Wallet's real selling point is hiding the fact that you even have a wallet, essential for surviving when people will set your body on fire to warm their hands.
- Your own family and community will eventually rise up and strip you of everything you own during the coming collapse.
- Tim recommends arming yourself with military-grade weaponry and mounting a rocket launcher on a disaster car to intimidate people trying to kill you.
- Even your best friend will turn around and stab you to take your wallet once things get bad enough.
- Your own father will stun-gun you and steal your wallet along with your mother as you lie on the floor of the house you grew up in—those boomers don't care.