rant · moment 20 of 24

Dick Cheney Tells Everyone to Wear a Mask

from #206 - Turn Yourselves In | The Tim Dillon Show · #206

3 min

Tim delivers an extended rant on the absurdity of listening to Dick Cheney's mask advice given his role in torture programs and the Iraq War, spiraling into a surreal Bohemian Grove fantasy involving Ellen DeGeneres.

In this bit6 moments
  • Tim on why he listens to Dick Cheney: the man spends most of his day torturing people and a little part being nice to his lesbian daughter.
  • Ungrateful Americans should remember the economy did well after 9/11, so they owe thanks to Cheney.
  • Tim recognizes his anti-establishment rants limit his career prospects compared to people like Ellen DeGeneres.
  • Ellen DeGeneres wants to hang out with Dick Cheney and visit Abu Ghraib to see where blood was spilled, which is why she makes $80 million a year.
  • Ellen's probably at Bohemian Grove leading the cremation of care ceremony in front of the owl while billionaire CEOs and media heads dance around.
  • Extended riff imagining 9/11 where masked elites watch planes hit buildings while Ellen does the Charleston in front of the owl at Bohemian Grove.
Mentioned here

Dick CheneyEllen DeGeneresHalliburtonBohemian GroveAnderson Cooper

All 24 moments in this episode →