rant · moment 6 of 17
Dissecting Joaquin Phoenix's Oscar Speech Line by Line
from #187 - Waffle Sundaes and Puppet Shows | The Tim Dillon Show · #187
13 min
Tim has the transcript read back to him and reacts in real time to Joaquin Phoenix's Oscar acceptance speech, mocking his claims of not feeling elevated, his 'voice for the voiceless' rhetoric, his cow-and-milk analogy, tangents about Barbara Bush, Tana Mongeau, and Michelle Carter, and closes on the River Phoenix lyric.
- Tim on the contradiction of calling people 'voiceless' while they dominate social media and constantly speak their minds.
- Bill Cosby tweeting from prison at Snoop Dogg as proof that literally everyone has a voice.
- Tim questions why an actor deserves to speak for the voiceless just because he won a trophy and played the Joker.
- Joaquin's acting ability in the Joker role so good that Tim knows he isn't actually thinking about complex political issues.
- Tim dismisses the Williams sisters as examples of people unlikely to be contemplating trade policy.
- Joaquin's speech pivoting to talk about fighting injustice across gender, race, and species inequality.
- Tim mocks Joaquin as the suspect number one for being disconnected from nature while about to lecture on it.
- Tim lists five great smart women in America, starting with Barbara Bush for covering up JFK assassination involvement.
- Instagram influencer Tana Mongeau praised as a legitimate example of female genius for selling lip gloss and having fake parts.
- Michelle Carter getting lucky despite being devious; Tim tired of documentaries about this case instead of real crimes.
- Joaquin claiming humans feel entitled to artificially inseminate cows and steal their babies.
- Tim challenging how developing and third-world people are supposed to eat without agricultural science and animal products.
- Bernie Sanders should execute all these celebrities, though Tim only supports Tom Steyer because he doesn't know who Steyer is.
- Tim rants that murderers in small towns get Netflix shows while he, an actual talented person, gets nothing.
- Hollywood actors are all for late-term abortion while lecturing about the cow's stolen baby—no consistency.
- What Tim would respect: Joaquin grabbing the trophy, saying 'I love death,' and walking off stage with consistency.
- Joaquin's claim that humans can solve everything through love and compassion as guiding principles.
- Joaquin admitting he's been a scoundrel, selfish, and cruel—but now that he's rich and a millionaire, all that's over.
- Nobody has moral awakenings when they're broke; revelations only arrive after buying houses in Bel Air and watching murder documentaries.
- Joaquin asking for support and a second chance while acknowledging he's been horrible and abusive but also a genius.
- Tim translating the message: don't dig into Joaquin's past; just give him more work and money because that's when we're all at our best.
- Joaquin quoting his dead brother River's lyric about running to rescue with love and peace.
- Tim wondering if the wrong brother died, imagining River would say the same speech but more poetically.
Michelle CarterBill CosbySteven AveryTana MongeauChelsea HandlerRiver PhoenixBarbara BushTom SteyerBernie SandersVenus WilliamsSerena WilliamsSean PennSnoop DoggJake Paul