Episode 180 · The Ben Avery Era
#180 - History Hyenas | The Tim Dillon Show
Dec 29, 2019 · 1:17:53 · 242,000 views · 28 segments, 178 moments indexed
Tim has on Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano of the History Hyenas podcast. They talk boomers, reactionary political groups, and why Tim cancelled his trip to Epstein's Island.
Watch on YouTubeDiscuss on Reddit
- 1 min
Timmy the Trashcan Jingle
#A jingle-like cold open bit where Tim voices a character called Timmy the Trashcan who loves trash and asks listeners not to litter but to give trash to him.
1moment
- Tim introduces himself as Timmy the trashcan and explains his love of trash.
- 1 min
Meeting the New Producer and 9/11 Hotel Room Coincidence
#Tim jokes about the new producer Ray, comparing the awkward first meeting to a Grindr date, then riffs on a hotel room number resembling 9/11 and jokes about government surveillance and Epstein's Island.
3moments
- Tim meets the new producer Ray and immediately makes a Grindr joke when he opens the door.
- The new producer's first hotel room was numbered 2001, and Tim connects it to 9/11 as a suspicious coincidence.
- Tim jokes that the government is following the producer and planted the hotel room number as part of a larger conspiracy.
- 4 min
The Epstein Island Video Idea and Power Corrupting
#Tim describes a plan to film a video on Epstein's island, jokes about a young editor's mom worrying about him, and riffs on how power and wealth unlock dark desires, joking about AOC, Stalin, and horses.
9moments
- Tim decided against making a video at Epstein's Island after a friend's son wanted to come film.
- The plan was to roll up to Epstein's island with a camera and film in front of the temple.
- Tim couldn't bring the kid because he didn't want to watch him get pushed off a cliff and tell his fiancée about it.
- Tim argues the world being run by pedophiles is harder to disprove than to prove.
- Something happens when you climb the ladder of power that unlocks a very dark sexual loss.
- John Travolta started with women, had sex with all of them, then only men excited him anymore.
- Tim says if you gave him hundreds of millions of dollars and power, it's a real problem and he might start doing horrible things.
- Yanis pointed out how easy it is for a person to get attracted to a horse once you have enough power.
- Nobody should have that much money or power—Stalin, Mao, and AOC all need it knocked down a little.
Jeffrey EpsteinJohn TravoltaRush LimbaughAlexandria Ocasio-Cortez
- 2 min
Hotel Rooms, Long Island Boomers, and Sleeping With Anxiety
#Tim talks about cheap disgusting Midtown hotels versus Chinese businessmen downtown, then transitions into complaints about staying with Long Island family as an adult and his own sleep anxiety routines, plus going celibate and reading Eckhart Tolle.
6moments
- Hotel rooms in Midtown smell like hostels where people jerk off on the carpet.
- Staying with family on Long Island means dealing with boomers complaining about inheriting houses they need to renovate.
- Once you're over 30, you cannot stay with your family or barely even with wealthy friends unless they have a wing of their house.
- Tim goes to bed at 2:30 every night, wakes at 5:30 with anxiety, then sleeps another four hours waiting for the sun.
- He's been celibate for a month after reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now and trying to be friendly with his present moment.
- Unable to have sex with women to manage the anxiety, he went down to Shore Road in Bay Ridge and yelled racial slurs at the water.
Long IslandEckhart TolleShore RoadBay Ridge
- 4 min
Boomers, Suburbs, and the Auto Lobby's American Dream
#A long rant defining the 'true boomer' as a suburban phenomenon, tracing the postwar suburb boom to auto industry marketing and white flight, contrasting city boomers with suburban ones, and mocking Applebee's/Panera suburban culture.
8moments
- Tim describes what he loves about boomers in Long Island—calmly dropping racial slurs on the couch.
- Suburbs were invented to host boomers; pre-war buildings were good, but post-WWII construction threw up cardboard boxes to sell a fake American dream.
- Long Island is a disaster microcosm of that dream: strip malls, Panera, buzzers at Outback Steakhouse—those are the positive qualities.
- Tim's concept of a true boomer is suburbs; if you're from New York, Queens, or Chicago, you're still a boomer, but the real boomer experience is escaping the city.
- The modern American Dream was a marketing ploy by the auto lobby, capitalizing on white flight from minorities.
- Millennials realized the minorities had all the fun—sitting in an Applebee's bar when Journey comes on and people start swaying.
- Tim applauds Millennials moving back to cities, getting rid of the walk because you can walk so long before you start hallucinating.
- The 1950s and 60s were when boomers came of age—hippie culture, Woodstock, bands—then suddenly they're selling office equipment for Pitney Bowes.
Long Islandauto lobbyPitney BowesOutback SteakhousePanera BreadApplebee'sQueensBrooklyn+1 more
- 3 min
His Dad's Boomer Career and Mom the Weeki Wachee Mermaid
#Tim describes his father's unglamorous career selling office equipment for Pitney Bowes after a hippie youth, and his mother's job as a Weeki Wachee mermaid being ogled by truckers, riffing on generational work ethic.
8moments
- Tim's father didn't like his job but accepted it, coming home daily to watch Sally Jessy Raphael on the couch.
- Tim's mother was a Weeki Wachee mermaid in Florida, swimming in a tank for truckers before strip clubs opened.
- Fathers in the boomer generation were too exhausted from work to play with their kids, forcing them to learn on their own.
- One picture showed Tim's father at Woodstock; the next showed him in an ill-fitting suit trying to knock over small businesses.
- Boomers grew up listening to Bob Dylan and talking about world peace, then ended up screaming about MS-13 invasions.
- Boomers inherited money, got cheap loans and credit, got the GI Bill, and received houses on Long Island, yet still claim the deck was stacked against them.
- Tim's father constantly repeats the same three things: he can't get ahead, he's just trying to stay out of trouble, and he regrets not playing more golf.
- No matter what Tim says to his father, the response is always about how important golf becomes with age.
MS-13Weeki WacheeBob DylanGI BillSally Jessy RaphaelFrank Sinatra
- 5 min
Boomer Victimhood, Golf Regrets, and Growing Up in Ridgewood Queens
#Tim riffs on his father's repeated golf-regret complaints, argues boomers see themselves as perpetual victims despite inherited wealth like the GI Bill, and contrasts his working-class Ridgewood Queens upbringing with Long Island kids who worship their parents' culture like Billy Joel and Fox News paranoia about MS-13.
10moments
- Boomer mentality is so pervasive that even nineteen-year-olds act like boomers, with Billy Joel as their favorite musician.
- Growing up in Ridgewood Queens, everyone's dad worked in the union, so Tim and his peers listened to Jay-Z and modern culture instead of oldies.
- When Tim tried to get into comedy around 2009-2010, kids from other backgrounds challenged him for not knowing Beatles songs or Lenny Bruce.
- The weird thing about Long Island is kids want to become their parents, unlike Tim's generation which wanted to break that cycle and do something different.
- Tim's dad doesn't like what he does, which made Tim want to break the cycle and pursue something else rather than follow the same path.
- Fox News boomer culture creates victimhood by pushing narratives about MS-13 invading and needing Trump or Tucker Carlson for protection.
- Voting for Trump is framed as the only way to protect your family's future, while left-wing politicians like AOC are blamed for ruining daughters' lives.
- In college counterculture courses, boomers are portrayed as the heroes while older generations with crew cuts are depicted as the villains holding guns at kids with flowers.
- Liberal arts education started this fetishization of good guys versus bad guys, all nuance removed, making boomers see themselves as superheroes.
- Tim's dad fought in the Korean War and later Tim realized his father was fighting for something good, though the utopian notion of universal agreement remains flawed.
Tucker CarlsonAlexandria Ocasio-CortezDonald TrumpLenny BruceBilly JoelThe BeatlesJay-ZLong Island+3 more
- 4 min
Boomer Counterculture Hypocrisy and Materialism
#Tim argues the boomer counterculture generation lionized itself as heroic against 'crewcut' villains without nuance, and that despite anti-establishment posturing, boomers became the most materialistic generation, chasing cruises and consumerism.
8moments
- Tim traces the loss of nuance back to the boomer counterculture movement.
- The boomer generation is defined almost exclusively by materialism, lacking the religion or spiritual meaning previous generations had.
- They went from one extreme—rejecting materialism—to total indulgence, which leaves people feeling empty.
- Boomers respond to emptiness by taking another cruise, another vacation, another Fleetwood Mac concert.
- Tim recounts his friend's girlfriend getting arrested for check fraud and ending up on Indiana's Most Wanted.
- State police show up at the house and threaten the friend with accessory charges if he doesn't reveal her location.
- That same night, Tim has dinner at his friend's house while his friend's girlfriend—Indiana's most wanted—has just been arrested.
- Even the boomer counterculture's supposed idealism about helping others was really just about themselves.
BoomersIndiana State PoliceFleetwood MacNaples
- 5 min
Isabel's Arrest on Indiana's Most Wanted
#Tim tells the story of a friend's girlfriend Isabel getting arrested for check fraud while being on Indiana's Most Wanted, including the police standoff at the house, then connects it to boomer self-absorption via his grandfather's Christmas gift complaints and the marketing-driven nature of the American Dream and even American independence itself.
9moments
- Tim's grandfather used to say Christmas isn't about piles of presents—just get one thing—a lesson that stuck with him about consumerism.
- Capitalism created an emptiness; people chase things without meaning, and his father's life was defined by the need for money.
- The American Dream was marketed after World War II as a perfect life, but the real dream is the pursuit of happiness and building something yourself.
- The auto lobby provided the blueprint for modern America, and even the Revolution itself was a marketing ploy by Washington and Jefferson to recruit soldiers.
- The middle-income family is being squeezed out; people are either elite or struggling, and the middle gets screwed.
- Tim argues it's not a bad idea for 18- or 19-year-olds to skip college since nobody cares if you have a degree anyway.
- He recounts an argument with a liberal journalist who claimed Twitter is watching someone have a breakdown in real time, referencing Yanis.
- America's poor don't actually live in poverty the way other countries do—they have homes, phones, internet, and access to cheap food.
- Poor people in America are eating meat for a dollar and have phones with internet, so comparing them to indentured servitude in Dubai doesn't hold up.
middle classAmerican dreamGeorge WashingtonThomas Jeffersoncollege educationauto lobby
- 5 min
Debating a Liberal Journalist About Inequality in America
#Tim recounts a Twitter argument with a liberal journalist who compared America to Dubai, arguing American poverty is nowhere near as severe as claimed, while conceding frustration with rich people escaping accountability like Epstein is legitimate.
10moments
- America is the least racist country, yet Europeans do Nazi salutes and throw bananas at soccer games.
- People are frustrated with how much rich people have gotten away with, and that frustration is fair.
- What we're living in isn't capitalism—it's institutionalized criminality, with congressmen blackmailed into voting for whatever big business wants.
- The biggest proponents of immigration are on the right because Koch brothers and Chamber of Commerce want cheap labor instead of hiring Black Americans and low-income workers.
- Donald Trump is the result of a rotted system; people are right to lose faith when the President flies to a pedophile island 26 times and nobody gets held accountable.
- Rich people can buy their way out of prison and get their kids out of drug charges, while poor people on 125th Street go to jail for three years for smoking a joint.
- AOC is annoying and doesn't have any power; the real power belongs to people trying to sell water and air to you.
- Tim claims almost all wealthy and powerful people are touching kids, and the problem is their ability to evade justice with impunity.
- Politicians go into office claiming good-faith debate and compromise, but if they're blackmailed—sexually or financially—they stop representing their district.
- Blackmail doesn't have to be sexual; it could be financial or any other leverage that removes a politician's independence.
Donald TrumpKoch brothersJeffrey EpsteinAlexandria Ocasio-Cortezprivate prisonsJimmy Fallon
- 5 min
Institutionalized Criminality, Immigration, and the Death of Capitalism
#Tim argues what exists now isn't capitalism but institutionalized criminality run by oligarchs and blackmailed politicians, discusses immigration policy benefiting big business over black and low-income workers, and contrasts Bezos's wealth with normal people's struggles.
10moments
- Tim on the NRA: younger him would call them evil, but visiting rural districts shows people genuinely want guns because they're paranoid about MS-13 and don't live stacked on top of each other like city dwellers.
- Carried interest loopholes and shell corporations let foreign money launder into NYC real estate—blood money from poisoning rivers in Zambia buys ten apartments with zero accountability.
- Donald Trump comes from the left and spent his whole life as a Democrat who believed the economy works better with some regulation.
- Kardashians are worth a hundred billion dollars and their main export is lip gloss while Jeff Bezos has enough money in dollar bills to reach the moon and back sixteen times.
- Most of these deep problems aren't political—solutions might come from technology or science because the system itself is fundamentally broken.
- Facebook generates as much wealth as GM did at its height but employs only 40,000 people compared to the millions GM once hired.
- Andrew Yang proposes universal basic income during Democratic debates because glaciers are melting and there won't be jobs left, but the crowd doesn't clap because it's boring and true.
- Tim wants both free healthcare for everyone and the wall with strict vetting—people live in the gray area, not the binary choice the left and right demand.
- Countries with single-payer healthcare can afford it because America fights their wars and destabilizes regions for oil while they send food trucks in return.
- There's no solution anymore—just killing time to make money off nothing, stealing from Patreon subscribers with charisma and criminality instead of doing anything productive.
Jeff BezoshealthcareFox NewsAndrew YangDonald TrumpKardashiansWall StreetNRA+2 more
- 1 min
Everything's Over, Enjoy It
#A short bleak riff declaring the decline is inevitable and irreversible, comparing humanity to a falling object picking up speed.
1moment
- Tim clarifies he doesn't actually believe everything he says on the podcast, just tries to make it entertaining
- 2 min
Socrates on Democracy's Fatal Flaw
#Tim tells the story of a friend's Vietnamese girlfriend and a bad restaurant review, then launches into Socrates' warnings about democracy collapsing when everyone can vote regardless of education, comparing Rome's decadence to today's culture wars.
4moments
- Tim proposes making weed illegal again and sending everyone back to jail, dismissing delivery-app entrepreneurs as inevitably doomed.
- Civilization is an object falling to the ground, picking up speed—the end times are already here.
- Nobody imagined the apocalypse would look like a Family Guy episode, with a game show host and a bartender who read one Marxism book.
- Socrates predicted democracy's collapse: older people pander to younger people, treating experience and cynicism as pathetic rather than wisdom.
- 5 min
Plato's Philosopher Kings and Term Limits
#Building on the Socrates riff, Tim argues for Plato's philosopher-king model, proposing term limits for politicians and a trained governing class to prevent corruption and unqualified 'game show host' leaders.
10moments
- Tim explains Plato's argument that ancient Rome's decline followed its embrace of total permissiveness—orgies, homosexuality, no rules.
- Plato's core claim: democracy fails because everyone shouldn't have equal voting power; a doctor and a candy shop owner don't have equal competence.
- Tim describes Plato's solution—voters should be educated, with a college major in voting—and notes that the less qualified candidate always wins anyway.
- He insists he's a liberal despite all evidence to the contrary, comparing it to claiming to be a vegetarian while photographic proof shows him eating ribs.
- Conservative kids are more open-minded than liberal kids, who are boring and either broke or malnourished-looking with roommates.
- Plato's philosopher kings concept: trained individuals selected by a council, not elected through money and charisma, serving four to six years.
- The executive should be someone morally tested and trained, not a game show host with charisma and unlimited campaign financing.
- Legislators need term limits to prevent permanent power factions and corruption, but the judicial branch can't have them without politicizing judges.
- Senators and congressmen should function in the real world after leaving office rather than make politics their entire career.
- A referendum system could allow exceptions for truly effective leaders, letting voters decide whether to extend someone's time if they're genuinely good at it.
democracyPlato's RepublicPlatoancient RomeWest Village
- 3 min
Joe Rogan for President and His Instagram Elk Photos
#Tim jokes about Joe Rogan being drafted into presidential politics, praising him as a great interviewer who should be given more time, while joking about his repetitive hunting/elk photos on Instagram.
6moments
- America can't be compared to New Zealand on gun policy because America has 300 million people across so many different cultures.
- Joe Rogan is being petitioned to run for president and would be nominated.
- Tim explains what a Joe Rogan presidential debate would actually look like—he'd need freedom to conduct it his own way, not in the standard two-minute format.
- Joe Rogan's Instagram is just the same elk photo over and over, which Tim acknowledges with respect given that Rogan hunts, eats, and cooks it himself.
- A Joe Rogan debate would be the only way to actually engage young voters, since standard debates are too boring for kids.
- Tim argues it's concerning that comedians like Rogan, who interview everyone, have become a primary source of news and information for so many people.
- 3 min
Comedy Journalists Are Failed Comedians
#Tim rants about the decline of journalism, criticizing writers like those at Politico and GQ covering comedy, specifically mocking a Giuliani story involving his assistant, and arguing comedy critics are bitter people who never made it in comedy themselves.
10moments
- Tim criticizes journalism industry's descent, noting journalists tweet personal attacks like a Politico reporter dragging Giuliani's young assistant.
- Targeting an assistant in a story lacks respect for her family—Tim questions why she's even part of the narrative.
- Jenny Slate's special confuses him; he doesn't know if it was stand-up comedy or something else entirely.
- Tim suggests Jenny Slate dislikes his guest and would rather see him delivering pizzas than succeeding.
- People writing about comedy are failed comedians, typically those who were bullied or rejected by comedians in high school.
- Jason Zinoman at the Times wishes he was reviewing theater because his mother ran a major theater company.
- Claudia Levy is described as sweet but crazy, too scared to leave her apartment for a podcast appearance.
- Seth Simons personifies ringworm—not a real person—and represents attempts to make GQ woke.
- Real journalists like Chris Hedges went to war zones; they've had every moment of joy drained from their bodies.
- Writing about comedy is basically being in the open mic scene of journalism—amateur territory, not actual reporting.
PoliticoJenny SlateRudy GiulianiChris HedgesJohn MulaneyJason Zinoman
- 2 min
The Nutcracker and Wishing for the Elite Track
#Tim describes watching wealthy families at the Nutcracker and fantasizing about a different, more elite-tracked life, before pivoting to advice about parents steering their kids' education early like tiger moms.
7moments
- Tim attended the Nutcracker and observed wealthy families from places like Scarsdale and the Upper East Side.
- His fantasy is to relive life as an elite, attending a better college and owning a slate gray suit and brownstone.
- Tim advises parents to actively steer their children toward elite tracks rather than leaving it to chance, citing boomer passivity.
- Children need parental guidance from age nine or ten onward to reach their potential, something the current generation lacks.
- Tim credits tiger mom parenting among Asians as the reason they succeed, noting his own podcast producer wouldn't exist otherwise.
- For traditional families, putting kids on a successful track in high school is essential preparation.
- Tim identifies himself on the career team, wanting success for his children rather than choosing left or right politics.
tiger momBronxvilleScarsdaleHouse of Pies
- 5 min
The Trans Issue as a Political Entry Point
#Tim argues radical political groups use the trans issue as a wedge/entry point to expand societal control, distinguishing this from ordinary trans or gay people, and argues trans women shouldn't compete in women's sports despite supporting trans identity.
10moments
- Radical groups use trans issues as an entry point to gain power and redefine society, not because they care about trans people themselves.
- These groups can't openly say they want all your money and to strip your speech rights, so they start with issues most people support being kind about.
- Tim compares the left's strategy to what happened in Venezuela with Che Guevara—eventual total control and engineered society.
- The far right wants to put gay and trans people in camps to enforce medieval Christianity as a tool of control.
- Tim's personal political position: he just wants a pool in the Hollywood Hills to watch it all burn.
- The center holds the line of reality by supporting trans people while refusing to throw logic and definitions overboard.
- Trans women are not women because if they were, all women would be trans, which makes no logical sense.
- The underlying agenda is separating sex and gender entirely, calling gender itself a social construct rather than biological.
- Trump rally supporters don't care about facts—they want the wall built even though no actual bricks went up.
- Trump did fix one part of LaGuardia Airport, though it's still inadequate for current traffic volume.
Donald TrumpChe GuevaraAlexandria Ocasio-CortezYanis VaroufakisLaGuardia Airport
- 2 min
Radio, TV, Internet, and the Path to World War
#Tim theorizes that each new communication technology (radio in WWI, TV in WWII, now the internet) has been used to galvanize populations toward war, and debates whether nuclear deterrence prevents another world war, bringing up China's treatment of Muslims.
7moments
- Tim charts how radio was invented at the outset of World War One and used as propaganda to mobilize masses.
- Television emerged around World War Two and Germans and Americans weaponized it the same way.
- The Internet is the third great communication invention, and the same pattern of galvanizing extreme points of view seems inevitable, leading to another world war.
- Mutual assured destruction from nuclear weapons prevents outright war between major powers, Tim's guest argues.
- Tim says everyone is preparing for war with China, and a proxy war seems likely given Chinese concentration camps for Muslim minorities.
- Something nefarious is happening in China with concentration camps, echoing atrocities seen in the 1940s.
- The Internet swells everyone and brings out the lowest common denominator of humanity.
ChinaWorld War OneWorld War TwoThe Breakfast Club
- 3 min
His Dad's Twitter Prophecy and Comfort Corrupts
#Tim recalls his father predicting in 2009 that Twitter would be a disaster because not everyone deserves a voice, then relays a college professor's mantra that 'comfort corrupts' and argues humanity is destined to fail due to complacency.
10moments
- Tim describes his father as someone who didn't set himself up well and wasn't the brightest, but had hot streaks at the horse track and married Tim's attractive mother.
- Tim's father predicted in 2009 that Twitter would become the biggest problem the country ever had because not everyone is supposed to be heard from.
- A mentor at American University—his alma mater, Latin for "all the guys eaten kids on Epstein's Islands"—taught him that comfort corrupts inevitably.
- A college professor told Tim that comfort corrupts, and without constant vigilance people lack the willpower to guard against it.
- Tim argues humans were designed to fail—we've climbed the mountain but will collapse like Sisyphus, unable to reach another habitable planet while depleting Earth's resources.
- Someone on an undiscovered island paradise might be saying the same fatalistic thing while Geoffrey Epstein-adjacent figures tell them life will find a way.
- Conspiracies are ultimately frustrating because you'll never know the truth unless you're on the inside.
- Being on the outside gives you illusions about something; being on the inside strips those illusions but removes the magic—both perspectives have their benefits.
- Both inside and outside perspectives on anything have their separate benefits despite their opposite illusions and knowledge.
- Tim suggests that decisions made at such a high level in government and power are unknowable to ordinary people who can only make jokes, read books, and speculate.
SisyphusAmerican UniversityTwitterEpstein's Islandscomfort
- 1 min
Nobody Really Knows What's Going On Behind the Curtain
#Tim reflects on how insiders versus outsiders experience institutions differently, using comedy's 'green room' mystique as an example of how the public mythologizes things insiders find mundane.
4moments
- Most people think they understand how the entertainment business works, but they really don't.
- Tim was at Yanis's engagement party on Manhattan, talking to a Republican Long Island schoolteacher.
- Tim mentioned Louis C.K. as his favorite comedian; the woman had never heard of the #MeToo scandal involving him despite it being massive at the time.
- Most people don't actually care about entertainment industry scandals, even when they're supposedly everywhere.
Louis C.K.Me Too movemententertainment business
- 1 min
MeToo Amnesia and Louis CK's Comeback
#Tim tells a story about a Long Island schoolteacher not even knowing what Louis CK's MeToo scandal was, arguing public memory is short and Louis CK will fully return to selling out venues.
3moments
- Louis CK went from being harassed on trains as a 'rapist pig' last year to people now sympathizing with him as unfairly treated.
- He's going to sell out shows again because public opinion moves in cycles.
- Theaters are reluctant to book him because of the stigma, not because he lacks ticket-selling power.
- 5 min
Tim Dillon's Presidential Platform: Nature, Internment, and No Equality
#In a bit where he's handed the presidency, Tim delivers a mock speech about humanity being detached from nature, argues men and women aren't equal including in sports regarding trans athletes, jokes about interning the Chinese, and ends with everyone getting a Popeyes coupon and a cruise.
9moments
- Tim proposes sending Chinese people into internment camps as part of his presidential platform.
- He would begin his presidency with speeches about humanity's detachment from nature and the illusion provided by modernity.
- Nature-based governance: people need perspective on how modern amenities disconnect them from natural laws.
- Tim argues there is no equality, only equality under law, and people are free to pursue happiness but it isn't guaranteed.
- Transgender athletes should compete in separate categories; a woman who transitioned a year ago shouldn't dominate girls' sports.
- Tim refuses to call transgender women the same as biological women because it denies women's existence and creates unfair competition.
- His actual governing strategy: give everyone a coupon for Popeyes chicken and offer boomers cruises to Mexico instead of remaking society.
- The choice is between remaking society in the image of nature or putting people on a boat with a 24-hour buffet heading to Mexico.
- The New York comedy scene is limping along because it's in love with the past.
- 1 min
Furniture-style plugs for the joint History Hyenas/Tim Dillon Patreon, joking about a fictional $1,000,000 tier to release a secret 'infamous' episode, name-dropping James Altucher.
2moments
- Tim asks what the guest thinks about Jenny Slate potentially calling to collaborate now that the show is getting distribution.
- Tim notes there's no loyalty in the industry and begins to reference the Gillis situation.
- 2 min
Shane Gillis, Jussie Smollett, and Fake Comedy Loyalty
#Tim argues there's no real loyalty in comedy, citing how comedians abandoned Shane Gillis over old jokes while a truly harmful figure like Jussie Smollett faced fewer consequences from his agency, calling out industry hypocrisy.
5moments
- Tim says the lack of loyalty among comics saddens him, and anyone talking about honor codes in comedy is full of shit.
- He was one of the only people defending Shane Gillis, even when Shane's close friends weren't.
- The reality: Shane Gillis was dropped by his agents while Jussie Smollett, who orchestrated a fake hate crime using police resources, was not.
- If those two Nigerian guys picked up that night had been fingered by Smollett, they'd probably be in jail—he's a truly evil human being.
- Comedians spoke out about Shane being inappropriate while saying things absolutely worse themselves—the entertainment industry is hypocritical.
- 1 min
We're Just Comedians, Not Journalists
#Tim clarifies the podcast is pure entertainment by comedians with no real power, dismissing any journalist who might take the show's jokes seriously, then jokes about running for office in Long Island.
3moments
- Tim explains this is a podcast by comedians for entertainment, not journalism or political authority.
- Tim announces he's running for public office in a Long Island district because everything is falling apart anyway.
- His campaign platform: hold a bar vote on smoking indoors, dismissing employee secondhand smoke complaints as their own poor life choices.
- 2 min
Tim's Long Island Campaign Platform: Smoking, DWI Laws, and 9/11 Hate Crime Pass
#Continuing the mock-campaign bit, Tim proposes absurd Long Island policies: legalizing smoking in bars, a new DWI test based on saying your name clearly, one free nonviolent hate crime on 9/11, and declaring the LIRR a lawless zone.
4moments
- Tim's Long Island campaign platform includes a nonviolent hate crime pass on 9/11—you can rip off someone's hijab or spray a swastika on a McDonald's without consequence.
- New DWI law: if you can state your full name and it matches your ID, you're not too drunk to drive.
- On the Long Island Rail Road, there are no laws—when the doors close, it's back to the Coliseum and ancient Rome.
- Tim plugs upcoming tour dates in Austin, Toronto, Minneapolis, Arizona, and Vancouver.
- 1 min
Furniture-style closing rundown of upcoming tour dates in Austin, Toronto, Minneapolis, Arizona and Vancouver, plus a mention of a new Megan Kelly-mocking shirt design, before signing off.
1moment
- Tim called someone fat and says he said many worse things to her.