ad · moment 10 of 36
Blue Chew Ad: Dick Pills for Depressed Facebook Warriors
from #173 - Shane Gillis | The Tim Dillon Show · #173
4 min
SponsorBlueChew
An extended, dark comic sponsor read for Blue Chew mocking depressed, out-of-shape men who can't perform sexually and spend their lives arguing online, pitching the chewable ED pills as the solution.
- Tim catalogs the audience's medical and psychological problems: obesity, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, depression, cancer, drug and alcohol dependence, sports injuries, no health insurance, conspiracy-addled minds filled with sugar and drugs.
- The depressed Facebook warrior's life: driving around in a coma, waiting for a drunk heavy woman to stumble out of a bar, basement encounters with mom asleep upstairs, and the erectile failure that spirals him into more drinking, eating, and property destruction.
- Blue Chew is chewable Viagra and Cialis that works any time, day or night—Tim takes it just to get hard and look at it before going back to bed, with no partner required.
- Not just for guys who can't perform but for anyone wanting extra function: more rounds, harder action, landing the girl with the Toyota Corolla or whatever demographic he's targeting.
- Discrete home delivery avoids the pharmacy humiliation of standing near people doing better than you, people with families and real jobs while you're disgusting with your soft dick and no accomplishments.
- Blue Chew is made in the USA, not Pakistani dick pills, because the audience has an American flag profile picture, has never served in the military but watched military movies, and fights the real war on Facebook and Twitter.
- Tim addresses the banned Facebook activist who's been in jail three times for telling the truth, leaked Nancy Pelosi's address, lost The Donald, and has nowhere left to post.
- The target audience hates Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez but still masturbates to her—the core of Tim's people right now who need Blue Chew to function.
- Final pitch: if you like the show and want to fuck someone twice in a row, buy the dick pills using promo code TIM at BlueChew.com.