ad · moment 10 of 27
BlueChew Ad: Laying Pipe Out of Your Situation
from 162 - Assland · #162
5 min
SponsorBlueChew
Tim segues into a BlueChew sponsor read, riffing on using sex as a means of upward mobility, joking about Jeffrey Epstein, pedophiles, and why hot/dumb people with 'hard dicks' get further in life than smart people.
- Tim argues your way out of poverty is to sleep with a woman who'll inherit property, even a modest split-level in Arizona.
- You won't win big at a casino or finish a novel anyone cares about—that's the reality of your situation.
- BlueChew has the same ingredients as Viagra and Cialis but easier to obtain; doctors consult online and ship it discreetly.
- Tim dismisses self-consciousness about erectile dysfunction: people take other drugs for optimal performance without shame, so why not this?
- Use promo code TD for five dollars shipping instead of paying full price—why wouldn't you want to be harder?
- Tim warns pedophiles not to use BlueChew, telling them to keep their dicks soft.
- Sex is a tool to advance in life; Tim's good-looking friends succeeded not through talent or work ethic but by being good at fucking.
- The world favors people with hard dicks and empty heads over people like him trying to change things through comedy.
- Tim claims Italians have big dicks because God took part of their brain and put it in their penis instead of making them intelligent.
- Being smart is almost an impediment in this world—better to have a big hard dick than intelligence you can't properly use.