ad · moment 22 of 25
Monday.com and the Secret Businessman Breakdown
from 160 - The Ballad of The Fat Girl With The Clean Car · #160
6 min
SponsorMonday.com
A long, surreal sponsor read for Monday.com that spirals into a dark narrative about a struggling businessman drinking secretly, pushing his wife, and being feared by his son.
- Many people selling HGH in Applebee's parking lots need business managerial tools like Monday.com.
- Tim admits he's been reading the Monday.com ad for minutes and still has no idea what it actually does.
- Monday.com is software that helps with collaboration and communication in a corporate space full of waste and mumbo-jumbo.
- With Monday.com you become a real businessman, maybe running a business from your house with a hidden bottle of liquor.
- Tim describes a businessman who pushed his wife away in the kitchen after she doubted him, and why he needs Monday.com.
- A son who fears his father, won't speak to him, and spends time in his room looking at unknown internet content.
- The businessman sits in his back room masturbating to torture porn while doing business because he's a businessman.
- At the Country Club, he tells his old college friends from Bank of America that he went solo day trading and they thought he was crazy.
- Tim describes sitting drunk in a back room watching the market, feeling a pulse through his body that could be ALS.
- If he got a death sentence diagnosis it would be freeing because he could finally do all the drugs he's been missing.