ad · moment 15 of 20
Wix Ad: Websites for Trump, Cardi B, and Fake Testimonials
from 156 - Some Of Our Faves · #156
9 min
SponsorWix
A long, heavily improvised Wix sponsor read framed around the idea that he, Trump, and Cardi B are 'special' people with websites, spinning into elaborate fake customer testimonials for a wedding DJ, a hairstylist, and a child acting coach.
- Tim argues that he was promised to be special and lucky as a child, but most people aren't special and are just wasting resources.
- Tim, Cardi B, and Donald Trump are united because they're all magnetic, funny, and New Yorkers with websites.
- To become like Tim Dillon, Cardi B, or Donald Trump, you need to build a website using Wix.
- Adults want to read testimonials about your services before giving you money—stop only relying on Instagram and TikTok.
- Example testimonial from Brenda in Bay Shore about a DJ, including her divorce and basement living situation while supporting Trump.
- Even a child acting coach needs a testimonial confirming they didn't do creepy things to students.
- Testimonial example from a mother about Jackie at Mirage salon in Massapequa, whose daughter now wants to sweep hair there instead of going to college.
- Wix has drag-and-drop design and AI assistance, which Jackie the stylist used after getting drunk and punching her Mac.
- 150 million people have built websites with Wix, though Tim questions whether that statistic matters.
- Tim closes by saying only special people like him, Donald Trump, and Cardi B have websites and were chosen by Christ to lead humanity.