rant · moment 7 of 9
Ray's Grindr Hookup Disaster in Huntington, Long Island
from Pick Your Meat · #83
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
15 minRay tells an extended story about ditching his friend's comedy set at the brokerage to hook up via Grindr with a 22-year-old Jewish tennis player in Huntington, the awkward limp-dick sex, the dead car battery stranding him, and the mortifying scene when the kid's parents came home and found them in the driveway.
- 19:37Tim drives out to Long Island to watch a friend perform at a comedy brokerage.
- 20:01The borrowed car stalls outside the restaurant because the friend installed the battery with a YouTube tutorial and left it loose.
- 20:38Tim gets on Grindr during his friend's comedy set to find someone to hook up with instead of watching the show.
- 21:01He matches with a 23-year-old Jewish tennis player and goes to his house in a typical Long Island split-level with glass mirror walls.
- 22:09The guy keeps wanting to have a conversation about tennis instead of getting straight to sex, which annoys Tim.
- 22:51Tim explains he ate a big New York strip and twice-baked potato at dinner, making him anxious about what might happen during anal sex.
- 24:17Tim jokes that if something goes wrong, he could play it off as a prank, like a singing telegram where he runs out yelling it was a joke.
- 25:09During sex the guy keeps going soft and just tapping his limp dick against Tim, making it awkward and aimless.
- 26:57After the encounter ends, Tim goes to leave but the car won't start—the battery is loose again—so he has to knock back on the door.
- 27:56While Tim and the guy are looking at the car in the driveway, the kid's parents pull up early from dinner, catching them together with the kid half-naked.
- 28:31The kid tells his parents Tim is a friend from school, but nobody believes the cover story.
- 30:24The mother asks why the kid has no pants on; he says he was just chilling inside but now he's outside.
- 31:31The father tightens the loose battery with a wrench and the car starts working again.
- 32:29Tim thinks the kid probably should have come out to his parents with someone better looking than him, not a middle-aged guy with a big dinner in his stomach.
- 34:19Tim has to go back to the brokerage smelling like sex and tells his friend he was getting his car fixed.
GrindrLong IslandAnsel ElgortHuntingtonBaby Driver