Episode 83 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Pick Your Meat
Feb 13, 2018 · 45:07 · 10 segments, 78 moments indexed
- 1 min
Show intro music and announcer bringing on Tim Dillon and Ray Kump.
1moment
- 0:00Show opens with intro: Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell with Tim Dillon and Ray Kump
- 4 min
Designing a Dream Wedding: Butterfly Houses and Gilgo Beach Nature Trails
#Tim and Ray riff on the recent Italian meal at Parkside Restaurant, then spiral into planning an ideal wedding venue and menu, including a nature preserve near where the Gilgo Beach bodies were found, the Bronx Zoo butterfly house, and choosing entrees on the invitation.
8moments
- 0:57Tim proposes serving gyro at a wedding, suggesting chicken gyro or regular gyro as menu options.
- 1:22Debate over whether gyro meat was originally pork or lamb, with Tim expressing enthusiasm for pork.
- 1:47Tim admits he never checked off fish or steak preferences on wedding invitations, unaware that guests are supposed to choose before the wedding.
- 2:20Tim imagines a catering worker bringing beef Wellington home to family in a shanty, only to have them dismiss it as sad.
- 3:03Ray describes wanting to get married in a nature preserve with wooden boardwalks and trees.
- 3:25Tim jokes that Ray is describing the Gilgo Beach area where bodies were found and asks if he's confessing.
- 3:50Ray clarifies he wants to get married at a nature preserve for the ceremony but might skip the reception.
- 4:06Tim suggests getting married inside a butterfly house at the Bronx Zoo as a beautiful wedding venue option.
- 5 min
The Wedding Reception Fantasy: Techno DJs, Sushi Pizza, and an Old Irish Woman Serving Ziti
#The wedding bit continues into reception details: a techno DJ akin to the Chemical Brothers, sushi pizza and pizza bagel bites, an old hardscrabble Irish woman ladling out baked ziti on command, and a hypothetical fight over uneaten deviled eggs.
9moments
- 4:20Tim describes his fantasy wedding reception at a mansion like Rockefeller's or a Hearst Castle.
- 5:24Reception venue idea: Walt Whitman's house, small enough that people can dance in the kitchen and living room.
- 5:50Tim would hire a techno DJ like the Chemical Brothers rather than a live band, ruling out Skrillex.
- 6:24Food plan includes finger foods and sushi pizza cut into small bites, inspired by his mother's New Year's Day tradition of cutting Sicilian pizza and putting toothpicks in it.
- 7:08For the entrée, Tim envisions an old Irish woman ladling out a big ziti onto plates when guests say 'hit me' for seconds.
- 7:52The Irish woman would serve broiled ziti from a party hero, getting a nice crust on top after sitting out.
- 8:28Hard boiled eggs left untouched on a plate all night leads to a fight between Tim and his wife about wasted food.
- 8:44The wedding reception fantasy concludes with the couple fighting about the uneaten eggs before reconciling.
- 9:00Tim says he makes enough money to afford eggs at his wedding, establishing his commitment to the vision.
the Chemical BrothersSkrillexWalt WhitmanWhite Castle
- 1 min
Affording Eggs and the Republican Party's Wall Street Wing
#Tim riffs on being able to afford hard-boiled eggs for events as a marker of success, tying it to a bit about the Wall Street wing of the Republican Party not caring about anything beyond having eggs.
4moments
- 9:12Wall Street Republicans say: as long as you have eggs, you're good, don't come to us.
- 9:23Tim recalls times he couldn't afford eggs, couldn't always guarantee the money for hard-boiled eggs at an event.
- 9:52The difference between having surplus and struggling: if people didn't eat the eggs he brought, it would have hurt him financially.
- 10:05Tim stops mid-thought, distracted by what sounds like someone trying to shove a body into a food processor downstairs.
Wall Street wing and the Republican Party
- 1 min
Noise Downstairs and the Netflix Atlanta Taping Rollout
#Tim jokes about disturbing noises from downstairs sounding like a body being disposed of, then thanks fans for the Netflix taping in Atlanta and discusses how comedy specials get released in staggered batches.
3moments
- 10:15Tim compares the noise downstairs to the foot-in-mulcher scene from Fargo.
- 10:34Thanks to everybody who came out to the Netflix taping in Atlanta.
- 10:59With fifteen comics on the bill, Tim suggests rolling out multiple specials makes sense rather than dumping them all at once.
- 5 min
Long Island Logic: Do People Understand How Movies Are Made?
#Tim recounts his friend Joe in Atlanta not understanding TV production, then expands into a long riff about whether Long Islanders grasp how movies are made, whether they think actors like The Rock or Sopranos cast members are actually tough guys, and wonders about a hypothetical openly gay tough-guy actor breaking that illusion.
10moments
- 11:20Tim's friend Joe, living outside Atlanta, texts him an hour before his set asking him to come to dinner, not grasping that he's been doing dress rehearsal and sound check since 3 p.m. for a two-show taping.
- 12:13When Tim mentions he has to go into makeup for Netflix, his friend asks if he's wearing makeup, bewildered by the concept.
- 12:31Tim wonders what Long Island people think movies actually are—whether they understand movies are written, or if they assume actors just improvise being cool.
- 13:14Tim imagines asking someone from Long Island to explain how movies are made and expects wildly inaccurate reasoning.
- 13:31Nobody on Long Island understands basic filmmaking concepts like scene blocking or that actors might work with coaches to prepare roles.
- 13:57People thought The Sopranos was real and believed the actors were actually mob guys, not understanding the difference between performance and reality.
- 14:20Tim wants a legitimately tough guy to come out and explain how he does the things Tony Soprano does on screen, expecting it would blow Long Island minds.
- 15:27Tim brings up a Navy SEAL guy from SEAL team six who breaks conventions, then clarifies this is the Chris Kyle American Sniper guy.
- 15:46Tim describes the guy as an actor who's never actually seen combat, noting he had some controversy over a tweet criticizing Trump's military parade.
- 15:59The SEAL team guy tweeted that America doesn't do weak parades like dictators do, sparking backlash online.
- 3 min
The Bin Laden Navy SEAL, Military Parade Backlash, and Online Gun Nerds
#Tim discusses the SEAL who claims credit for killing bin Laden getting into a Twitter controversy over opposing Trump's military parade, veering into a bit about online commenters obsessing over gun terminology like "clip" vs "magazine," and mocking the idea of a military parade showcasing precision missiles.
8moments
- 16:21Tim notes that Navy SEALs don't publicly claim credit for specific kills, especially bin Laden, as it violates unit decorum and team culture.
- 17:08The SEAL in question keeps emphasizing he 'helped kill' bin Laden, which Tim finds absurd—the body's in the ocean, so what's the ambiguity?
- 17:26Tim says the military parade is universally a bad idea.
- 17:41Gun nerds on the internet spent days roasting the SEAL for calling a magazine a 'clip' instead of correcting his actual military record.
- 18:11Tim points out these supposedly ex-military grammar police have killed people and displaced families, yet obsess over terminology instead of accountability.
- 18:29Nobody asked Trump to do a military parade—it wasn't a public demand.
- 18:57Tim jokes that showing military strength means parading smart missiles designed to find schools and blow them up in parade fashion.
- 19:16Ray suggests they could create bullets that sway around white people, prompting Tim to mock him as SJW Ray.
- 15 min
Ray's Grindr Hookup Disaster in Huntington, Long Island
#Ray tells an extended story about ditching his friend's comedy set at the brokerage to hook up via Grindr with a 22-year-old Jewish tennis player in Huntington, the awkward limp-dick sex, the dead car battery stranding him, and the mortifying scene when the kid's parents came home and found them in the driveway.
15moments
- 19:37Tim drives out to Long Island to watch a friend perform at a comedy brokerage.
- 20:01The borrowed car stalls outside the restaurant because the friend installed the battery with a YouTube tutorial and left it loose.
- 20:38Tim gets on Grindr during his friend's comedy set to find someone to hook up with instead of watching the show.
- 21:01He matches with a 23-year-old Jewish tennis player and goes to his house in a typical Long Island split-level with glass mirror walls.
- 22:09The guy keeps wanting to have a conversation about tennis instead of getting straight to sex, which annoys Tim.
- 22:51Tim explains he ate a big New York strip and twice-baked potato at dinner, making him anxious about what might happen during anal sex.
- 24:17Tim jokes that if something goes wrong, he could play it off as a prank, like a singing telegram where he runs out yelling it was a joke.
- 25:09During sex the guy keeps going soft and just tapping his limp dick against Tim, making it awkward and aimless.
- 26:57After the encounter ends, Tim goes to leave but the car won't start—the battery is loose again—so he has to knock back on the door.
- 27:56While Tim and the guy are looking at the car in the driveway, the kid's parents pull up early from dinner, catching them together with the kid half-naked.
- 28:31The kid tells his parents Tim is a friend from school, but nobody believes the cover story.
- 30:24The mother asks why the kid has no pants on; he says he was just chilling inside but now he's outside.
- 31:31The father tightens the loose battery with a wrench and the car starts working again.
- 32:29Tim thinks the kid probably should have come out to his parents with someone better looking than him, not a middle-aged guy with a big dinner in his stomach.
- 34:19Tim has to go back to the brokerage smelling like sex and tells his friend he was getting his car fixed.
GrindrLong IslandAnsel ElgortHuntingtonBaby Driver
- 5 min
Speculating on the Kid's Fate and the Laziness of Hookup App Culture
#Tim and Ray imagine what happened to the Jewish kid after his parents caught him, joke about the dad possibly participating, and then discuss how hookup apps like Grindr have made sex lazy and unsatisfying compared to the old bar pickup process.
10moments
- 35:03Tim wonders what happens to the kid's life in the next 24 hours after his parents catch him—whether he comes out or goes deeper into the closet.
- 35:55Hookup apps and internet dating have replaced the old way of meeting people—going to bars, talking, and developing social skills.
- 36:35Tim contrasts the mindset of wanting to meet someone with being in "jerk off mode"—the laziness of scrolling apps from home versus taking real initiative.
- 37:00The laziness of the hookup app process means people aren't bringing their best selves and nobody ends up satisfied.
- 37:49Tim says people won't stop hooking up through apps unless they find someone they genuinely like.
- 38:11The problem isn't meeting people online in general, but the specific laziness of sex apps compared to other platforms like Match.
- 38:28Sex and dating aren't what they used to be—the whole dynamic has changed.
- 38:44Tim describes the old approach: actually trying to turn someone on, talking dirty, doing the work to seduce instead of just scrolling.
- 39:06Tim jokes that the show has become him critiquing his own behavior, and his agent wants him to talk about pedophile cults or 9-11 instead.
- 39:20Tim's example of trying to seduce a woman by whispering "you're like a halibut on a hook and I love seabass"—nonsensical fishing metaphors he finds charming.
- 5 min
Finding Meaning Beyond Art: Kids, Breaking Bad, and Getting Older
#Tim pivots into a philosophical riff sparked by an argument about whether Breaking Bad says something about society, arguing that true meaning in life comes from having children and family rather than from art, referencing Churchill and teeing up a mention of Trump and Eric Trump.
10moments
- 40:20Tim argues with a friend about Breaking Bad, defending it as a great show against claims it needs to say something universal about society.
- 40:42The meaning you're looking for in art you'll never find there—you find it when you have a baby and wife you love.
- 41:38People at a certain age have to stop looking for everything out of art, because it's not going to be there.
- 42:00Personal growth and the meaning you want won't come through appreciating even the greatest works of art.
- 42:27Historical figures who accomplished things weren't reading Proust in their 40s—they were getting things done, like Churchill bombing shit and building walls in his backyard.
- 43:00Heterosexual men at a certain point have to have kids because it enables deeper joy and makes their life bigger than it was.
- 43:44Looking at a 60 or 65-year-old guy who never got married and never had kids, there's something sad about it.
- 44:17Career trajectory eventually stops going up, and at that point having other elements in your life becomes very important.
- 44:42Everyone listening to this show who doesn't have children should know this section isn't for them.
- 44:55Trump achieved everything—he's rich, he's president, he has phenomenal foreign policy—but if he didn't have Eric Trump, what would it all mean.
Donald TrumpBreaking BadChurchillThe WireThe AmericansEric Trump