Episode 79 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
It's A Small World After All
Jan 15, 2018 · 1:02:33 · 16 segments, 121 moments indexed
- 2 min
Cold Open: New Year's Nuclear War Hypotheticals
#Tim and Ray open by joking about the show potentially coming out during a nuclear war, riffing on the atomic bombs dropped on Japan and whether the US would use a nuke on North Korea.
3moments
- 0:23Tim jokes about content being dated if there's a nuclear war by the time the episode airs
- 0:56Tim brings up the atomic bombings of Japan as precedent for America using nuclear weapons
- 1:14The U.S. remains the only country to have ever used nuclear weapons in conflict
- 2 min
North Korea Intelligence and Nuking Long Island
#They joke about how little anyone actually knows about North Korea, CIA human intelligence problems, Dennis Rodman, and riff on which places (Long Island, the Hamptons) deserve to get bombed based on bad comedy audiences.
7moments
- 1:48Tim claims he has no people on the ground in North Korea and doesn't think there's much to know about the country.
- 2:01Getting human intelligence out of North Korea is extremely difficult, though vice journalists and Dennis Rodman have managed to get in.
- 2:22The CIA's typical approach of turning defense contractors doesn't work in North Korea because those people don't hang out in accessible places.
- 2:38Tim suggests if America has to kill a large number of people in a potential conflict, they should get a "little smack" first.
- 3:12Long Island is where Tim is most disappointed in audiences, prompting him to suggest it as a target instead of Manhattan.
- 3:28Tim jokes that the Pentagon probably discusses acceptable losses and how getting rid of Long Island would actually be strategically beneficial.
- 3:43The realtors on Long Island are described as predatory animals squeezing people in a strategic way.
Long IslandNorth KoreaDennis RodmanKim Jong Un
- 2 min
New Year's Eve Comedy Crowds
#Tim reflects on doing New Year's stand-up at the New York Comedy Club, discussing the difference between people who love comedy versus people just looking for something to do on New Year's Eve.
3moments
- 4:02Tim describes New Year's Eve comedy crowds as not necessarily huge fans of comedy who came out because restaurants were full and bars were too expensive.
- 4:26He'd prefer audiences that appreciate and enjoy comedy in general, more receptive than people just looking for a warm place to drink.
- 5:04Tim mentions two fans from Long Island drove in to see him, which he found cool.
comedyNew York Comedy ClubLong Island
- 5 min
The Warm-Up Comic Who 'Makes It Work'
#Tim tells a long story about hanging out with an anonymous, well-paid warm-up comic for a big show who seems miserable and keeps justifying his life with hollow phrases like "what else do I need" and "you make it work," including a bit about the guy's wife cheating on him.
10moments
- 5:33A warm-up comic at a major late-night show makes good money but doesn't seem happy in the position.
- 6:17Tim compares the resentment a warm-up comic feels to watching other comedians perform actual sets on the show they're warming up.
- 7:01When Tim speaks to this warm-up comic, the guy doesn't seem thrilled and keeps saying things like 'I got wine, I got Chinese food, what else do I need?'
- 7:38Someone who constantly asks 'what else do I need' is trying to convince themselves not to commit suicide, not someone who has everything they want.
- 8:04The warm-up comic defended his wife having affairs defensively, saying it takes the pressure off him so he can watch TV shows.
- 8:37When Tim asked if the kids get sensitive about the situation, the comic replied 'you make it work' — accepting a bad situation rather than changing it.
- 9:09Taking a stable, well-paying comedy job is like accepting golden handcuffs — you make deals and get stuck.
- 9:36Tim explains that after having a great job for a while, people believe it will lead to other opportunities, but often it does not.
- 9:58The warm-up comic asked Tim 'what do you want' in a weird, heavy way, suggesting he's become a shell of himself.
- 10:16Even with something good and stable in comedy, the job rips out your soul and leaves you wanting a streaming show, a TV show, or an actual fanbase.
warm up comicslate night showscomedy industry deal-making
- 5 min
Settling, Selling Out, and Dunkirk's Ethics
#Tim expands on the warm-up comic's mentality into a broader riff on settling for stable jobs versus pursuing what you love, detours into complaints about Dunkirk being criticized for lacking diversity, and riffs on commissioned Renaissance art and Louis C.K.'s purity.
8moments
- 10:34Tim reads a person's entire character from the phrase "you make it work" — understanding it as selling out rather than problem-solving.
- 11:02Dunkirk criticized online for not having enough women and people of color, despite being a historical drama about soldiers on a beach.
- 11:57In Dunkirk, characters debate whether kicking a French soldier off a boat to die is wrong, even when they convince themselves to accept it.
- 12:31The alternative to pursuing what you want in a field like comedy is an office job you hate — neither option is good.
- 13:13Settling in creative work is worse than not doing it at all because you're forced to watch your dreams from behind a window.
- 13:37Life is about making deals and deciding what you're willing to accept — poverty, loneliness, lack of respect, loss of dignity.
- 14:02Most people aren't willing to accept those hardships, but the ones in the business with a real shot refuse what everyone else settles for.
- 14:31People accept that they won't do what they love or like, that they'll just make money instead — that's the baseline most people choose.
- 3 min
Entrepreneurs, Rockefellers, and the Ruthless Productive Class
#Tim argues most people aren't suited to entrepreneurship despite the current obsession with calling yourself one, praises the ruthless efficiency of industrialists like Rockefeller and Carnegie, and contrasts that with the impossibility of "pure" commercial art.
8moments
- 15:20Tim notes something cool about people in their business: they refuse to accept they're not running the company and actually try to make it happen.
- 15:36This generation in their early twenties has a complete lack of accepting their role in society and just wants everything.
- 15:55Everyone's calling themselves entrepreneurs now, but most people aren't actually suited to those pursuits.
- 16:20The majority of people are suited to working, having families—this is why Tim isn't fully for unfettered capitalism.
- 17:02Rockefellers and Carnegies weren't just people acting; they had to grab their industries by the throat and beat them into submission over a lifetime.
- 17:22Tim defends ruthless maniacs in productive class—their ruthlessness makes things run more efficiently.
- 17:36The moment you try to sell art, it stops being art in a pure sense.
- 18:05Rich people literally commissioned works of art as a way to shave years off purgatory.
- 5 min
Chappelle's Integrity vs. 'Making It Work'
#Tim circles back to the warm-up comic, contrasting him with Dave Chappelle walking away from success out of integrity, then launches into an extended bit about being a mogul/Bavarian castle-owning elite who needs to sacrifice children to maintain their lifestyle.
10moments
- 18:26Tim argues that comedy work requires fitting into a system, while some people need to work for themselves.
- 18:52The type who gets passed up for promotion but makes money early and stays with the company—someone with buried resentment.
- 19:43Making something work is just the lowest level—like saying a car works, it runs, it gets you from point A to point B.
- 20:25Dave Chappelle had the epitome of success, felt it was wrong, and threw it away—that's integrity.
- 20:58You can't take the safer road and also get the respect; you can't have both the money and the integrity.
- 21:26People want everything—they want to be the mogul who's also respected, but successful people don't think that way.
- 22:11No successful CEO ever said 'I love business'—they loved money and wanted to make it, often because they'd been poor.
- 22:37Tim riffs on rich elites justifying their lifestyle—the castle costs too much to heat, so they have to keep sacrificing children for capital.
- 23:04The ongoing expense of scraping up orphans and paying off local cops to maintain the pagan ritual and adrenaline supply.
- 23:23Tim concludes the bit: complaining about going to Tulane when you've got all this—you have no idea how good you have it.
Dave ChappelleLouis C.K.Russell SimmonsOprah Winfrey
- 3 min
Kids Today, Business Fetishism, and The Florida Project
#Tim rants about young people who say they "like business" without any real experience, then discusses the new Louis C.K.-directed film The Florida Project and Woody Allen's Manhattan, addressing whether you can separate art from the artist.
7moments
- 24:09Kids today say they like business, which really just means their parents are rich and they went skiing.
- 24:35There's no middle ground anymore—you can't do the kind of career path that previous generations had.
- 24:46Tim announces a private screening for The Florida Project, calling it his father's lowest movie.
- 25:00The film is good despite the scandal—it's complicated and ambiguous, not trying to be confusing.
- 25:13The Florida Project is really about a father trying to become a dad at the last minute after giving his kids everything.
- 25:33Manhattan contains problematic themes but they're heavily addressed by the filmmakers, not endorsed.
- 26:05The challenge is separating the art from the artist when the artist is controversial.
- 6 min
The Death of Shame and Earned Perspective
#Tim argues that shame used to be a unifying cultural force that built character, and pivots into a rant about young people believing their identity alone entitles them to a perspective without having to earn it, including riffing on identitarians on both left and right.
9moments
- 26:37Shame was a big part of culture that defined people and how they overcame it shaped their personality.
- 27:24Kids talk about Bitcoin and the economy without any experience or accomplishment to back it up.
- 28:05Most people aren't worth talking to when you're a successful, intelligent person.
- 29:16The chattering classes tell children they are irreplaceable and unique without needing to earn a perspective.
- 30:03Being gay in the last 30 years hasn't meant constant hardship depending on where you live and your family.
- 30:24Experience is not perspective—a real perspective requires understanding that truths from one situation may not apply elsewhere.
- 30:59Having only white guys in history and shows creates homogeneity, so diverse voices with other skills can challenge that.
- 31:18Tim wants to hear what people believe and why, not just what happened to them personally.
- 31:41Perspective should come from literature, religion, and meeting other people—not just personal trauma.
- 3 min
Wanting to Be Challenged and Careerist Comedians
#Tim wants people with genuinely surprising, uncomfortable perspectives rather than predictable takes, tells a story about an older black coworker named Mike who used to shut him down and made him smarter, and argues comedians with "unique voices" are usually just careerist trend-followers.
6moments
- 32:32Tim wants comedy that challenges his beliefs rather than confirming them.
- 33:08Everyone arrives fully formed with no assembly required—24 years old, knows everything, never owned anything or paid bills.
- 33:36Mike, a black guy in his 30s working at a camera store when Tim was 18, constantly told him to shut up and made him smarter by rejecting his premises.
- 34:20Comedians claim to have unique voices, but their Twitter is literally the same thing everyone else is saying.
- 35:13Tim doesn't think careerist comedians are predators—he thinks self-preservation is their highest art form.
- 35:28These comedians read the climate perfectly, know who to compliment and when, keeping themselves relevant while taking no real risks.
- 3 min
The ISIS Santa Costume and Trigger Culture
#Tim recounts dressing as an ISIS Santa Claus outside Comedy Central as a risky bit, then transitions into mocking "triggering" culture and the idea that disagreement itself constitutes harm, referencing his friend Alex's SJW comment about Ray.
7moments
- 35:51Tim wore a Santa costume to a Comedy Central corporate retreat and someone ran an ISIS graphic behind him.
- 36:11He claims he has integrity and didn't want to meet the Comedy Central people who blew him off.
- 36:22The real problem is being trapped in conversation with people where anything you say starts an argument you can't win.
- 36:50Alex Steinberg described Ray Kump as a syphilitic inbred megalomaniacal boy king with SJW tendencies.
- 37:14Tim argues the concept of being triggered by disagreement contradicts Western philosophy and the entire tradition of logic.
- 37:50He believes these people are totalitarians and he's been searching for someone open to the idea they don't possess absolute truth.
- 38:20Tim recommends reading Hayek's The Road to Serfdom as a map of why socialism inevitably leads to totalitarianism.
The Road to SerfdomComedy CentralFriedrich HayekAlex SteinbergViacomNick Mullen
- 4 min
Road to Serfdom and Arguing With Totalitarians
#Tim explains Friedrich Hayek's thesis on how socialism trends toward totalitarianism via loud extremist factions, then describes the physical, irrational reactions people have when their beliefs are challenged, and credits his combative father with teaching him to argue.
9moments
- 38:40Tim outlines how state control in democratic socialist societies creates power vacuums filled by the loudest, most aggressive party thugs rather than the general membership.
- 39:23Universal healthcare itself doesn't lead to totalitarianism, but socialistic movements tend to attract ultra-aggressive believers convinced they're righteous and justified in abandoning due process and free speech.
- 39:50Punching Nazis feels good, but the real principle is about who we are and how we act, not about what they deserve.
- 40:09Tim describes arguing with totalitarians: they have physical reactions to being challenged, shaking their heads and waves their arms.
- 40:25They claim you're interrupting them when you're not, insisting 'stop interrupting me' when they have nothing substantive to say.
- 40:50Tim's father was a stubborn, aggressive, smart guy who shut down disagreements, much like a Reagan Republican from that era.
- 41:20His father now watches Doctor Who and says the dog Fred is a gentleman who won't bark—a sign of how much he's changed.
- 41:45Reason is literally the only thing distinguishing humans from animals, so throwing it out completely and just killing each other would make us like dogs.
- 42:06Tim's father wasn't abusive but told him when he was an idiot and shamed him appropriately, so he developed a callus in his soul about criticism that many modern kids never get.
Nazisuniversal health careJohn KerryReagan
- 4 min
2018 Predictions and Baby Suicide Bombers
#Tim mocks blind optimism about the new year given Trump and unresolved Jerusalem tensions, then escalates into dark bits about toddler suicide bombers and telling dinner party guests that random daily shootings would generate more fear than terrorist attacks.
9moments
- 42:54Tim questions what basis anyone has for optimism about 2018, suggesting it's heading toward a bad place.
- 43:09He predicts repercussions from the Jerusalem decision will arrive, though he hasn't kept up much on Middle East affairs.
- 43:38Tim makes a hypothetical—not actionable—promise that people upset by Trump's policies are not happy and something will happen.
- 44:19At a dinner party, Tim suggested that getting attention for activism would require a toddler in a suicide vest at Grand Central.
- 44:42He clarifies he was doing a funny impression of a toddler and the scenario was meant as dark comedy, which did not land with the dinner guests.
- 45:03At a Christmas luncheon, Tim argued terrorists should just shoot one person per day in New York City instead of attacks, which would be more effective and cooler.
- 45:33He calculates that with eight and a half million people in New York, daily single-victim shootings would maintain a level of constant fear people seem to want.
- 45:47Tim notices he keeps seeing 9-11 everywhere—his Uber receipt, his phone—and wonders if he's losing grip on reality or if something is genuinely going on.
- 45:58When told he's only remembering it when he looks for it, Tim suggests instead that perhaps he's been chosen to solve the mystery of 9-11.
Donald Trump9/11Hofstra LawJerusalem
- 9 min
The Saudi Arabia 9/11 Connection
#Tim and Ray dig deep into the theory that Saudi Arabia's involvement in 9/11 exceeded Iraq's, covering the Mujahideen/CIA arming of Bin Laden in Afghanistan, Al-Hazmi and Al-Mihdhar as possible Saudi agents, wealthy Saudis fleeing Florida before the attacks, and Senator Bob Graham being pulled off a plane for investigating the Saudi link.
10moments
- 46:29Tim identifies the Saudi Arabia relationship as the most interesting aspect of 9/11 — the oil interests and financial ties that keep the U.S. protecting an unpopular regime.
- 47:52U.S. efforts to mislead the public about Saudi charities providing financial support to al Qaeda terrorists.
- 48:44The CIA's role arming the Mujahideen in Afghanistan during the Soviet invasion was designed to create another Vietnam for Russia, which ultimately contributed to the Soviet Union's collapse.
- 49:52Graham Fuller, architect of the Afghanistan operation, connects to the Boston Bombers through his daughter's marriage to one of their uncles — a small-world coincidence.
- 50:37Saudi Arabia matched U.S. funding dollar-for-dollar in Afghanistan and served as America's proxy for delivering weapons.
- 51:09Tim questions whether Saudi involvement in 9/11 went deeper than officially admitted, asking if the CIA withheld information about hijackers' presence in the country from the FBI.
- 52:39The hijackers allegedly barely knew how to fly, yet executed a complex attack that terrorists today don't attempt despite simpler methods being available.
- 53:43Wealthy Saudis living in gated communities in Florida fled the country on the morning of 9/11, leaving with dishes in the sink.
- 54:15Senator Bob Graham was pulled off a plane with his wife and questioned by the FBI for two hours for pursuing the Saudi connection in his investigation.
- 54:48Tim suggests that pursuing the Saudi angle is dangerous — Graham, as a senator with cachet, is a target that could be silenced or blackmailed.
Saudi ArabiaBob GrahamAl-QaedaMujahideenOsama bin Laden9/11 CommissionGraham FullerSoviet Union+3 more
- 6 min
Conspiracy Theories, Tuskegee, and Bin Laden's Resentment
#They continue the 9/11 discussion, distinguishing 'benign' government cover-ups from real conspiracy, citing the Tuskegee experiment as a proven historical conspiracy, and theorizing Bin Laden may have targeted Saudi hijackers specifically to frame Saudi Arabia and split it from the US after feeling snubbed over the Gulf War.
10moments
- 55:30Tim's theory about 9/11 and Saudi Arabia's role, which he distinguishes from conspiracy theory because it's documented.
- 56:04Saudi Arabia played a far greater role in the attack than Iraq, which most Americans still don't realize.
- 56:28Stephen Hayes's book "The Connection" tried to link Saddam Hussein to Al Qaeda by stretching tenuous details like Muhammad Ali eating breakfast in Iraq.
- 57:21The government flew persons of interest out of the country and censored 28 pages from the 9/11 report.
- 58:03The explanation for why any conspiracy theory is bullshit usually involves something horrific that most people don't know about.
- 58:25The Tuskegee experiment—a documented fact where the government gave Black men syphilis and polio.
- 58:51Bin Laden and the Mujahideen felt they brought down the Soviet Union, leading to swelled egos and Arab nationalism.
- 59:19When Saddam invaded Kuwait, bin Laden wanted his Mujahideen army to handle it instead of the US, but was rejected.
- 59:49Bin Laden may have deliberately used mostly Saudi hijackers to frame Saudi Arabia and create discord between the Saudi government and the US.
- 1:00:40Bush was smoking cigars in the West Wing eight days after the attack while the Saudis were being flown out of the country.
Saudi ArabiaStephen HayesTuskegee experimentAl-QaedaOsama bin LadenMuhammad AliSaddam HusseinBlack Mirror
- 1 min
Tim closes the show without concrete plugs since he doesn't know the release date, promoting TimDillonComedy.com, his tour dates, and the $6/month Patreon subscription with promo code HELL for early access and video archives.
5moments
- 1:01:16Tim provides tour dates and directs listeners to TimDylanComedy.com and his social media handles.
- 1:01:31Subscription offer: $6 a month with promo code 'hell' for back catalog including Legion of Skanks, Real as Podcast, video and audio archives.
- 1:01:44Tim highlights past interviews including Johnny Lou Pearlman, Russ Baker on CIA creation, David Talbot on the CIA, John Kiriakou on Iraq and torture, and 9/11 episodes with various comedians.
- 1:02:11Subscribers get shows five days early in high-definition format.
- 1:02:31Sign-off thanking listeners and saying good night.
That HappenedDavid TalbotJohn KiriakouLegion of SkanksTim Dylan comedy dot-comBobby KellyBonnie McFarlaneDan Soder+3 more