rant · moment 4 of 14
Bennigan's: Long Island's Fake Irish Nightmare Restaurant
from Protestant Blood Burger · #11
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
5 minTim launches into an extended rant about Bennigan's as the most nonsensical of Long Island's chain restaurants, describing his father taking him there during his parents' divorce, mocking its fake Irish menu items like the Turkey O'Toole and County Claire sampler, and reading horrifying Yelp reviews about ancient servers, sticky floors, and disgusting food.
- 4:22Long Island strip malls bred corporate chain restaurants like Fridays, Applebee's, and Ruby Tuesday, but none made less sense than Bennigan's.
- 4:59Tim's first Bennigan's visit: his angry divorced father pulled into a parking lot and decided to eat at what looked like a closed office building.
- 5:33Walking into Bennigan's makes you unsure if the restaurant is actually open—it feels like kids found an abandoned building and messed around in the kitchen.
- 6:36Bennigan's appropriated Irish culture in a way that doesn't even make sense and isn't real—Ireland doesn't have a distinct cuisine beyond pubs and maybe shepherd's pie.
- 7:07Bennigan's menu items like the Turkey O'Toole (turkey on pretzel bread with honey mustard) and the County Claire sampler (egg rolls, quesadillas, nachos) are ridiculous misrepresentations of Irish food.
- 8:04Yelp reviews consistently report ants on menus, sticky floors like movie theaters, and hours-long waits for cold food with hair in the mashed potatoes.
- 8:30The average Bennigan's server was 86 years old, and it's unclear if the restaurant ever truly reopened after closing.
- 8:57The 2008 market correction forced Bennigan's to close when money dried up.
Beneigan'sLong IslandIrish cultureApplebee'sFriday'sThe Cheesecake Factory