Episode 6 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
The Manor-Born
Aug 16, 2016 · 58:54 · 18 segments, 144 moments indexed
- 3 min
Cold Open: Subscriber Shaming and Introducing Dan Soder
#Tim opens by berating the audience for not subscribing to the Gas Digital Network, mocking his boss Luis Gomez, then introduces guest Dan Soder with jabs about his Chris Matthews/Tim Russert energy and riffs on his Showtime show Billions and comedy special.
7moments
- 0:48Tim complains that only two people have subscribed to the Gas Digital Network despite his constant promotion.
- 1:02He describes sitting in meetings with his boss Luis Gomez and having to admit he can't sell subscriptions like a failed insurance salesman.
- 1:17Tim pitches the network's lineup and pricing: six dollars for the whole thing, or $250 for his show alone, which he sarcastically warns will become the locked-in price if you wait.
- 1:53Unusual for the show, they have a guest today despite most people refusing to come on.
- 2:18Tim criticizes the cohosts for having a Chris Matthews cable news anchor energy and comparing them to Tim Russert.
- 2:50The guest has a Comedy Central special, though Tim fumbles the title multiple times before settling on something.
- 3:04Dan Soder is introduced as the guest, described as a very funny guy.
- 2 min
Tim and Dan riff on Tim's obsession with the ultra-wealthy, joking about billionaire trading cards, ranking favorite billionaires like Bezos, and setting up the topic of Dan's relationship with a wealthy woman.
6moments
- 3:19Tim and Dan share the same manager, who told Tim that Dan was the best guest he'd ever had.
- 3:49Tim explains they have Dan on because they love rich people on the show and talk about them constantly.
- 4:08Billionaires do put out trading cards, though you can't physically possess them, but Tim knows who the top ones are.
- 4:23Bezos is described as a lunatic who really wants to control the world through Amazon.
- 4:54Tim explains that what he loves about rich people is they don't want you anywhere near them — he's talking generational wealth, not just BMW-dad money.
- 5:24Dan was actually dating a really wealthy girl, which became material for his comedy.
- 4 min
Dan explains growing up middle class in Colorado, breaking up with his ex, and getting recruited onto the exclusive dating app Raya by Jared Freid, calling it 'Illuminati Tinder,' before matching with a wealthy Manhattan woman.
8moments
- 5:44Tim broke up with his long-term girlfriend last summer and joined a dating app.
- 6:19Growing up middle class meant your parents losing their job would be catastrophic, but most people his generation were in that same position.
- 6:48His first girlfriend when he moved to New York was from the Upper East Side, and her family had real wealth from her father's job and smart financial moves.
- 7:09The last girl he dated came from a genuinely wealthy family in real estate development, wealthy enough that they could disappear if she got upset at him.
- 7:29Jared Fried told him about Raya, an exclusive dating app; Tim initially thought he meant Ray O's, a restaurant in Harlem with great sauce.
- 8:16Raya requires either a large media following or significant online presence like Twitter, and they research you—it's not just regular Tinder.
- 8:34Jared Fried called Raya "Illuminati Tinder."
- 9:01Al Madrigal helped him put his profile together on Raya.
RayaJared FriedAl MadrigalThe LeagueBobby Kelly
- 3 min
They compare exclusive dating apps for the wealthy to Grindr's classless hookup culture, then Dan describes his first real messages and coffee date with the wealthy woman, and her reluctance to ever visit Queens.
7moments
- 9:34Grindr's egalitarianism: no family money, everyone has a dick and a butt, that's the beauty of it.
- 10:09Dan's relationship that started on a dating app ended, and he realized they shouldn't have met that way at all.
- 10:41Striking out on Raya with funny messages because hot rich girls don't care about humor.
- 11:12Dan matched with a girl who was hilarious and gorgeous, met for coffee, and she turned out to be the hottest girl he'd ever seen.
- 11:53His wealthy girlfriend from Manhattan never wanted to leave the city—wouldn't even go to Queens.
- 12:07Tim describes Queens as a borough of failures with people desperate for bagels, clinging to life.
- 12:34Tim concedes Astoria has great restaurants but understands her resistance to leaving Manhattan.
- 4 min
Tim quotes Fitzgerald's 'the rich are different' line, they joke about it comforting Dan post-breakup, and discuss how much fun Dan had with the woman despite the social gap, plus the Baruch/doorman mix-up revealing her wealth.
9moments
- 12:54F. Scott Fitzgerald quote about seeing Manhattan from the 59th Street Bridge for the first time.
- 13:13Guest says Tim's Fitzgerald quotes helped her through a breakup in January.
- 13:39Tim describes why the relationship worked: it was fun to talk to her, more than sex or looks.
- 14:32Guest realized she had money when asking if she went to Baruch and she didn't know what that was.
- 14:49First sign of wealth: her apartment building from the outside looked like an office building in Chelsea.
- 15:05Guest wasn't allowed inside the apartment on the first date; she made him wait on the sidewalk.
- 15:25By the third date he was invited up and saw a beautiful two-bedroom corner apartment.
- 15:42The girl had a legitimate job and was working harder than her wealthy friends.
- 16:30Tim observes that the manor born are generally aloof and have a particular coldness to them.
F. Scott FitzgeraldManhattanwealth and class59th Street BridgeBaruchQueensHunter CollegeChelsea+1 more
- 3 min
They discuss the emotional aloofness of the wealthy, Dan revealing the woman initially refused to call it a relationship, and Tim's theory that old-money people are inherently cold and guarded.
8moments
- 16:49She was freaked out by his lifestyle, not wanting to be with a professional entertainer.
- 17:09She complained his wrestling t-shirts and jeans weren't appropriate for dinner parties.
- 17:30Rich girls dating drug dealers is comparable to her excitement about Tim's potential success.
- 17:44She treated his world as a fun novelty experience, nothing more.
- 17:58Tim felt like a seamless order on a menu—something she tried and found entertaining.
- 18:13He told her in January that she didn't have a shot at making the relationship work.
- 18:24WASP coldness means choosing money and security over exciting but unstable emotions.
- 19:01To her, Tim represents an exciting life story that could bankrupt and ruin people.
- 3 min
Tim explains why Dan never had a real shot with her, framing the relationship as her sampling an exciting 'up-and-comer' lifestyle, and they debate whether Dan was her lowest-born conquest, plus Mario Tennis and Queens jokes.
7moments
- 19:21Emotions ruin and impoverish you, and the decisions they cause lead to decades of bitching and complaining.
- 19:42She was on a show called Billions but doesn't even have thousands and can't pay for her kids' braces.
- 20:02Tim may have been the lowest-status person she ever slept with, though he claims he's tied with others or close to it.
- 20:39Toward the end of the relationship, she didn't want to take an Uber to Queens to eat halal food or play Mario Tennis with him.
- 21:24She went to the Met Gala with another legacy guy while Tim was crying at the Cellar.
- 21:55Tim assumes the other guy is trying to sleep with her, and the $50,000 Met Gala ticket proves Tim's not in that financial league.
- 22:14Tim describes himself as a temporarily embarrassed millionaire, citing the American myth about how the poor see themselves.
Billionsthe Met GalaShowtimeThe CellarSt. Bart's
- 3 min
Dan recounts the woman going to the Met Gala with another wealthy 'legacy' guy while he stayed at the Cellar, including the crude 'is he gonna try to fuck you' exchange and Tim's roller-rink riff.
7moments
- 22:47Tim asks if the girlfriend naturally mentioned the Met Gala or if she was confrontational about it.
- 23:04Tim and the guest riff on his question as a stereotypical settler or frontier mentality.
- 23:26Tim admits he probably phrased it more delicately at the time, using terms like "hook up" or "try to get with."
- 23:41Extended riff imagining how a crude version of that question might sound at a roller rink.
- 24:16Tim says he felt like a chump when his girlfriend asserted her position and independence.
- 24:40Tim contrasts his Irish ethnic parents with the WASP detachment he encountered at the girlfriend's Long Island home.
- 24:55Irish and Italian people are expressive at funerals—they wail, sing, and dance like gypsies, unlike WASPs.
- 5 min
WASP Culture, Calvinism, and the Rich vs Poor Divide
#Tim expands into a lecture on WASP culture, Calvinist work ethic versus Irish/Italian emotionality, Schwarzman's infamous sand-filled birthday party, and rich people's supposed emotional coldness as a survival mechanism.
10moments
- 25:05WASPs are cold, calculated, and cautious, unlike emotional people who wear their hearts on their sleeves.
- 25:26The American bootstrap mythology and rugged individualism come from WASP and Calvinist culture.
- 25:37The bootstrap narrative is a lie told by WASPs to justify their position.
- 26:02Catholics brought singing, dancing, and pagan rituals; WASPs brought Calvinist coldness and distance.
- 26:57Tim describes an oil heir boyfriend who has never made his own money—what they call "the runoff."
- 27:13Tim wishes he could have talked to the guy's father about gentrification and luxury development over scotch and cigars.
- 27:42Wealthy people see markets and development through an emotionless lens because the market itself isn't moral.
- 28:15Tim wanted his wealthy girlfriend to go to Queens and the dollar store, but she refused and said she just didn't want to go.
- 29:09Tim says the sex with the wealthy woman was cold, distant, and permissive—poor women fuck better.
- 29:26He once met a wealthy woman who owned a house in a bar when they were both drunk; she lost her shoes.
- 3 min
They compare sex with wealthy versus poor women, Dan recounts the phone breakup and his brother's comment revealing she's a 'socialite,' and Tim explains why a prenup was inevitable.
6moments
- 29:56Her brother texts that he can't make Tim's show at the Cellar because his girlfriend is going to the Met Gala instead.
- 31:03Tim defends wanting his girlfriend to skip a Venice art benefit dinner to spend Friday with him, arguing his company is better than the art.
- 31:57The brother's text uses the word 'socialite' to describe the drawback of dating someone at the Met Gala after-party, crystallizing Tim's realization.
- 32:13Tim understands she's a socialite and they have no business being together because she'll never treat him the way he wants.
- 32:25Tim says she wouldn't come to Queens, making clear the lifestyle incompatibility was the real problem.
- 32:48Had the relationship gotten serious, there would have definitely been a prenup, not a payoff.
- 2 min
Destructive Behavior and the Orbeez Trailer Girl Callback
#Tim delivers a mock lecture on how the wealthy woman is engaging in 'destructive behavior' by dating outside her class, then pivots to comparing it to Dan's own trailer-park Tinder date in Suffolk County involving Orbeez and a roommate named Carl.
6moments
- 33:08Tim identifies destructive behavior: someone trying to escape their community after watching romantic comedies, leading to court battles and financial loss.
- 33:42His advice to such a person: marry someone with legacy money to protect family assets, regardless of personal feelings.
- 34:10Tim distinguishes his own priorities from typical wealth-seeking behavior, claiming he doesn't need to chase status or money for happiness.
- 34:38Guest describes attempting to civilize himself during the relationship: ballroom dancing class, learning cello, getting dressed by her.
- 34:55She bought him clothes but got furious when he wore his old clothes instead, then Tim recalls a similar dynamic with the Orbeez trailer girl.
- 35:12Tim brings up the Orbeez trailer incident with the girl, setting up the callback to a previous story.
carried interestQueens
- 4 min
Dan wraps the Orbeez story, then they return to the wealthy ex, discussing how she saw dating him as slumming with 'CC's pizza buffets,' and Tim argues she was right to end it because of the geographic/class gap with Queens.
9moments
- 35:16Tim stopped to buy $30 worth of Orbeez on Long Island with a woman he met online.
- 35:31The woman was living in a trailer in Flanders, which Tim wasn't expecting.
- 35:57The roommate announced she needed to leave and get with someone else, which Tim was fine with.
- 36:14The woman rejected Arby's and wanted chicken, which Tim didn't think Arby's even served.
- 36:30Both roommates were named Carl, creating a Shining-like situation where they referred to themselves identically.
- 37:00Tim ended the relationship by saying the rest of his life would be full of CC's pizza buffets and movies.
- 37:22She originally ended it first, saying she didn't want to be in a relationship with him.
- 37:48When she visited his Queens apartment, she came the way a president visits a third-world nation—looking for security and escape.
- 38:16During their breakup call, she asked what he expected her to do: come to Queens and watch him smoke pot with his roommate.
Arby'sFlandersQueensApplebee'sCC's pizzaManhattanSuffolk County, Long IslandCleveland
- 3 min
Defending the Legacy Woman's Choices
#Tim mounts an extended defense of the ex-girlfriend's cold, calculated choice to protect her family's wealth, fantasizing about becoming an aristocratic old woman at a Chateau property, and mocking Dan's fantasy of an aging-naturally suburban wife.
10moments
- 39:01Tim argues that wealthy people shouldn't pretend to be poor or invite poverty into their lives for emotional experiences.
- 39:22A wealthy woman has to safeguard her position in society because her emotions will destroy her and lead her to exploitative men.
- 39:42Tim hopes the legacy-money woman ends up happy and doesn't cut up her face, though acknowledges she may need professional cosmetic care to maintain her emotional mask.
- 40:27Tim rejects the idea of the woman aging naturally and wrinkled in Arizona or Colorado, saying he wants her to be part of the Eastern establishment.
- 40:50He recalls his father scraping together enough money from copy machine earnings to take him to Blantire castle in Scotland, an exception made for a child visitor.
- 41:17At the castle, Tim witnessed an old woman arrive in a Bentley and imperiously demand to find Maurice, commanding his hosts to locate him.
- 41:33That cold, commanding woman became Tim's ideal—the kind of gin-drinking woman of the Upper East Side he wants this legacy woman to become.
- 41:56These wealthy women aren't raising children themselves; they hire Brazilian au pairs and get their kids into good schools through their connections.
- 42:08Tim sarcastically contrasts the luxury lifestyle with his own vision of a three-bedroom house with a woman who ages naturally and watches sunsets.
- 42:20The natural-aging, sunset-watching fantasy sounds to him like it would cause pancreatic cancer.
BlantyreUpper East SideEastern establishment
- 4 min
What Do Rich People Actually Do All Day?
#They argue over whether wealthy legacy families are 'fulfilled,' with Tim insisting they preserve arts and culture and deserve admiration, while Dan pushes back on whether that brings happiness.
11moments
- 42:24Rich wives run the household by staffing it with nannies, maids, and managers for multiple properties.
- 42:38Tim argues that generational wealth doesn't create great legacies—by the third generation, heirs end up physically weak with weak bone structure.
- 42:53Despite physical weakness, wealthy heirs could quietly strangle someone's entire family, which is where their real power lies.
- 43:23Rich families contribute to arts, culture, and architecture—Venetian art alone proves their cultural impact.
- 43:51They hold fundraisers for UNICEF and other charities, preserving art, music, and literature.
- 44:10Tim describes being happy under the train in Queens, hearing it go by and feeling content with nothing.
- 44:26Happiness is only a short condition that lasts until the next money crisis arrives.
- 44:59Rich people shouldn't need to be fulfilled the way ordinary people are, like sliding on a beach or eating frozen yogurt.
- 45:24A girl with centuries of inherited wealth and success could never have a loving, caring relationship with someone who wants that.
- 45:42If a marriage isn't built on more than love, it ends in deep trouble, citing the Queen of England marrying a commoner.
- 45:59Tim suggests the Queen story is something you'd say when copying notes or making things up.
Venetian artUNICEFQueen of England
- 3 min
They wind down the interview, Dan plugs his tour dates, Bonfire show, and special, and Tim previews next week's guest Russ Baker, an investigative journalist writing about the Kennedy/Bush power structure and the JFK assassination.
8moments
- 46:14Tim announces they're wrapping up the episode in a few minutes.
- 46:30Tim proposes listening to Malcolm Gladwell's Revisionist History podcast.
- 46:44Tim mentions driving back from Vermont Saturday night for a five-hour trip, then heading to SummerSlam wrestling the next day.
- 46:59Plugs for Irish exit hot soup event at which Tim is hosting tonight.
- 47:12Dan Soder plugs his comedy special, podcast appearances, and upcoming shows.
- 47:36Tim will be featuring for Dan Soder at Vermont Comedy Club on the 18th and 19th.
- 48:16Tim says next week's guest has never made him more excited in his life.
- 49:00Tim implies Baker's book makes the case that the Bush family power structure was involved in Kennedy's death.
Russ BakerJFK assassinationSummerSlamDan SoderThe BonfireMalcolm GladwellRevisionist History
- 3 min
Russ Baker's JFK/Bush Conspiracy Web
#Tim lays out Russ Baker's claims connecting the Bouvier/Kennedy marriage, George H.W. Bush, the Hooker family, Oswald's handler George de Mohrenschildt, and the idea that the Bush family power structure was behind Kennedy's ouster.
9moments
- 49:39Nixon was at the 1956 Republican convention the same day as Kennedy, both connected through the Pepsi bottling company.
- 49:51George H.W. Bush's roommate Hooker left out of all his biographies, very close to Bush, gave away Hooker's daughter at her wedding to a Cuban sugar magnate.
- 50:07Hooker's mother married a Russian émigré who was Oswald's handler, a connection omitted from official biographies.
- 50:25Russ Baker is a legitimate investigative journalist published in the New York Times and Vanity Fair, not Alex Jones peddling alien theories.
- 50:41Tim predicts Baker will walk through the door, look at them both, and think he was set up—or they'll stab him.
- 51:02Most people in the country are children who embrace the false narrative of liberals versus conservatives instead of understanding real power structures.
- 51:15Politics is really about special interests fighting—tobacco versus oil versus railroads, not ideology.
- 51:36Tim says he'd love if they all revealed he was just a dumb dumb chasing a ghost, but insists he's not and knows exactly what the power structure is.
- 52:02Tim concludes the whole thing is fun but warns not to get too close to him.
Alex JonesRuss BakerGeorge H. W. BushRichard NixonKennedy assassinationLee Harvey OswaldNew York TimesVanity Fair
- 2 min
Confronting the Boston Bomber Actor at a Party
#Tim tells the story of cornering actor Alex Wolff, who played Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, at a party and pushing conspiracy theories about the bombing on him until the kid stopped responding.
6moments
- 52:07Wealthy people sometimes enjoy provocative conversation until Tim says something that makes them uncomfortable, then they keep talking anyway.
- 52:21Tim confronted actor Alex Wolf at an elite prep school graduation party about playing the Boston bomber in a Mark Wahlberg film.
- 52:46Tim brought up Russ Baker's theory that the Tsarnaev brothers were FBI double agents who turned on the feds, possibly covering up a false flag.
- 53:19Wolf insisted he'd met everyone involved and talked to the families, dismissing Tim's conspiracy angle entirely.
- 53:37Tim asked for Wolf's email to send him conspiracy information; Wolf gave it but never responded.
- 53:51Trying to discuss Boston bombing theories with a successful young actor is like lecturing a lion about caribou—completely pointless to them.
- 4 min
Nixon, Reagan, and Closing Out With Dan and Ray
#Tim spins further conspiracy riffing about Nixon's ouster, the Reagan assassination attempt and Hinckley's Bush family ties, jokes about the moon landing lens, then closes the show with plugs and sign-off.
10moments
- 54:33Rich people don't actually like good food — they like the status of eating in private clubs, while WASPs are famous for eating horrible bland food like toast sandwiches.
- 54:52Tim argues that food is what you really care about when you have nothing else.
- 55:34People don't want to know what things actually are — they just want to believe everything is fine.
- 55:48Nixon was paranoid and taped every conversation, which made him dangerous to a CIA power structure involved in Kennedy's death.
- 56:07Nixon was ousted through a third-rate burglary committed by very talented people who shouldn't have made those mistakes.
- 56:21Reagan was shot, and John Hinckley's family was about to have dinner with Neil Bush, George H.W. Bush's son, right after the assassination attempt.
- 57:10They're all going to die not knowing anything, but the show welcomes every theory.
- 57:25Dan brings up the Apollo moon landing being fake, which Tim dismisses as childish after they just discussed the two biggest seminal events.
- 57:42NASA gave Kubrick a special lens from a satellite on a Mitchell camera for 2001: A Space Odyssey, raising questions about how they got it.
- 58:37Tim's closing message: freeze your heart, use your mind, think your way out of everything — you'll feel your way out of nothing.
John HinckleyKennedyNixonGeorge H. W. BushJoe ListRonald ReaganNASAApollo moon landing+2 more