Episode 4 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Nice Means Nothing
Aug 2, 2016 · 1:03:48 · 19 segments, 137 moments indexed
- 1 min
Cold Open: Branding Himself as the Dark Lord
#Tim jokes about asking fans for questions and branding the show with hellish imagery, riffing on crowns of flames and being called the Dark Lord.
3moments
- 0:46Tim's been branding himself on the show at a level he's not comfortable with, tweeting that he'll give "hellish replies" to listener questions.
- 0:58He worries about how extreme the bit will get, joking about wearing a wooden hat and whether he'll escalate to a crown of flames.
- 1:12Tim announces people should call him the Dark Lord.
- 2 min
Welcome Back and Playing Snorlax in a Kid's Video
#Tim welcomes listeners back, plugs the network subscription, introduces Ray Kump, and discusses just returning from the Montreal Comedy Festival and an upcoming gig playing the Pokemon Snorlax in a video made by a child.
6moments
- 1:18Tim announces the show is back at its regularly scheduled 7pm time on Gas Digital.
- 1:42Tim just returned from performing at the Just for Laughs Montreal Comedy Festival, the largest comedy festival in the world.
- 2:00Tim will be playing Snorlax, the fattest Pokémon, in a video directed by a child later this week.
- 2:15The child director's previous videos got 70,000 views, though Tim considers whether to use Ray for camera work instead.
- 2:27Tim struggles with how to make Snorlax goofy without being edgy, since the video will play to young kids.
- 2:45Tim plans to sit down with the kid director to try to figure out how to write unfunny material appropriate for the project.
Just for Laughs Montreal Comedy FestivalSnorlax
- 2 min
Ray's Curse of the Yeti Play
#Tim grills Ray about a bizarre local theater production called 'Curse of the Yeti' that Ray starred in wearing a dress, walking through the convoluted plot involving an explorer, a kidnapped yeti, and a twenty-year time jump.
5moments
- 3:02Ray performed in a play called Curse of the Yeti at the creek in a cave, written by playwright Matthew Morano
- 3:30Tim asks Ray to explain the plot of Curse of the Yeti
- 3:47The play features a yeti—described as an abominable snowman, like a Bigfoot
- 4:16An alternate explorer in the plot tries to kidnap the characters
- 4:38Tim learns the cast rehearsed for two months, once a week
Matthew Moranothe curse of the Yeti
- 3 min
Montreal New Faces Showcase and George Wallace's Crowd Work Bit
#Tim describes the industry politics of the Just For Laughs New Faces showcase versus the Unrep showcase, including George Wallace's repetitive 'where you from' crowd work bit and the brutal scheduling that pitted new comics against Roast Battle.
6moments
- 4:56Tim's Montreal New Faces showcase benefited from being in a large theater that sold 350 regular tickets alongside industry attendees, unlike most years' tight industry rooms in bars.
- 5:31The unrep showcase was scheduled for 11 p.m., directly competing with the midnight Roast Battle on Comedy Central won by Mike Lawrence, the festival's hottest ticket.
- 6:17The New Faces unrep room claimed to be full when industry people tried to enter, though it was never more than 70% capacity.
- 6:31George Wallace came out of retirement to host, using the same crowd work bit repeatedly: asking audience members where they're from, then claiming he was just there yesterday.
- 7:14Between every comic, Wallace would put the lights up and repeat the same crowd work bit about having been in that audience member's hometown the day before.
- 7:30The unrep showcase comics bombed so badly that more industry attendees walked out after each set.
- 3 min
His Manager Brian: 'It's Great' and 'No Crying in Comedy'
#Tim describes his oddly detached manager Brian, who responds to everything with 'it's great,' gives bizarre parenting advice about only seeing his kids once a month, tells devastated comics 'there's no crying in comedy,' and gives Tim pre-show advice of 'see the ball, hit the ball.'
6moments
- 8:11Tim's manager responds to everything with "It's great" — pitch rejected, meeting cancelled, doesn't matter.
- 9:03At a showcase where young comedians are bombing in front of shrinking crowds, the manager remains unaffected.
- 9:32When Tim says watching the carnage is tough, his manager responds: "What do you care? You got a meeting with HBO tomorrow."
- 10:03A nine-hour drive to New York with comedians in the car creates a weird vibe despite Tim's cynicism about group dynamics.
- 10:17Tim doesn't do sing-alongs and doesn't understand how they work unless everyone is drunk.
- 10:32Even when people are drunk singing, Tim goes along with it mechanically rather than genuinely participating.
Game of ThronesHBOmanagerComedy CentralBay House
- 5 min
The Car Ride to Montreal and the Girl Who Bombed Singing 'Empire State of Mind'
#Tim tells the story of the tense drive up to Montreal with other comics, his contempt for a falsely nice 'park slope' comedian who sang Jay-Z's 'Empire State of Mind' in the car, and her subsequent hysterical crying breakdown after bombing badly at the showcase.
8moments
- 11:26Tim drives to Montreal with a funny Black comic and a rich white liberal woman from Park Slope.
- 12:00People who are nice to you right away without earning friendship are trying to kill you.
- 12:43The woman in the car keeps buying into the festival mindset instead of having the right cynical attitude about it.
- 13:43Everyone in the car starts singing 'Empire State of Mind' when it comes on, and the woman belts out the lyrics like she's performing.
- 14:16Tim felt his life was stolen watching people burst into song around him—more threatening than being held at gunpoint.
- 14:51At the showcase, the woman absolutely bombs performing.
- 15:31Tim doesn't celebrate other comics bombing—unless they're the kind who sing and say things like 'when I get anxious, I go shopping.'
- 15:54The woman claims anxiety makes her go shopping; Tim suggests she should have bought some jokes instead.
- 3 min
Agent Meetings and Fake Niceness
#Tim describes the assembly-line ritual of meeting with talent agencies where each rep introduces their specific department, then riffs on his hatred of fake niceness and gives an example of a scammer named Douglas conning an elderly woman named Edna.
7moments
- 16:19Tim's manager tells him he's got "a little Satan" in him after watching a female comic's positive attitude during a rough set.
- 16:29Manager asks Tim if he'd be a good father, then follows up asking if it would work out seeing kids once a month—Tim can't figure out what he's actually trying to say.
- 17:12Organizer tells manager that four people backstage are crying and feel they did the wrong thing; he responds, "There's no crying in comedy."
- 17:48Agent meetings all follow the same formula: six to eight people flank the table, each introducing themselves with a different department and using identical phrasing about moving Tim into their space.
- 18:24Every agent claims they don't sign many people and are only meeting with Tim, then rattles off the same departments—unscripted, digital, commercial, Instagram filters, lit agent, live agent.
- 18:58All the agents use the same pitch about protecting his authenticity and POV while claiming they barely meet with anyone, leading Tim to suggest they should be fired.
- 19:12Tim points out he talked to several other people despite agents claiming exclusivity in the meeting.
- 1 min
Montreal Food and Comparing to New York
#Tim and Ray briefly discuss Montreal's food scene, smoked meat sandwiches, maple syrup jelly, and Tim mocking people who rave about French bakeries in Montreal.
4moments
- 19:26Tim argues that leaving New York makes people irrationally praise things like Montreal's French bakeries, which New York also has.
- 19:44Maple jelly—a cranberry-like spread you slice onto pancakes—doesn't interest Tim despite admitting it's probably good.
- 20:03Montreal's smoked meat and pastrami sandwiches are good but comparable to places like Katz's in New York, not revelatory.
- 20:19Tim says he doesn't want to see other comics fail, but has limits on what nonsensical material he'll tolerate.
- 5 min
Nice People Are Frauds, and Roast Battle Nightmares
#Tim expounds on his theory that overly nice people are usually hiding something (using a predatory salesman anecdote), then discusses roast battle's rise in popularity and his own horrific bombing experience at Dan St. Germain's roast in 2014.
8moments
- 20:38Tim argues that niceness is a front people use and means nothing.
- 21:02If you're a rich person, be a rich person instead of pretending to be something else.
- 21:56Excessive niceness is a red flag that signals desperation and having nothing going on.
- 22:46Every nice salesman Tim knew was trying to take homes from elderly people.
- 22:59Story of Douglas calling an old lady named Edna, positioning himself as her boyfriend to get her to send documents and avoid lawyers.
- 23:47Roast Battle is now the hot thing in comedy and everyone asks if he roasts.
- 24:15Tim bombed horribly at Dan St. Germain's roast in 2014 in front of Fox executives and agents.
- 24:28That roast bombing was a gut punch that kept him from getting back in the saddle with roast battles.
- 4 min
Tim and Ray discuss a news story of Trump kicking a crying baby out of a campaign event, and they play/react to the audio clip of Trump joking about the baby before having it removed.
9moments
- 25:10Trump allegedly kicked out a crying baby during a speech.
- 25:29Tim acknowledges the annoyance of a baby crying during a meal, but notes it as a test of a would-be world leader.
- 25:53Every politician plays the game of being friendly to babies—it's basic political DNA, yet Trump is too impatient to manage it.
- 26:31Comparison drawn to when Trump attacked the Khan family, whose son died serving in the military.
- 27:05Dana suggests Trump and Putin need to 'whip up a good one' to boost his odds, leading Tim and her into dark joke territory.
- 27:48Tim pivots to Putin's rise to power following the Chechnya bombing of Moscow buildings, calling the connection sketchy.
- 28:06Video plays: Trump claims to love babies and China while a baby cries during his speech.
- 28:33Trump admits he was only joking about loving the baby and orders it removed from the room.
- 28:53Tim notes Trump essentially calls the mother stupid for staying in the room with a crying baby during his speech.
- 5 min
Khizr Khan, China Tensions, and a Long Island Trump Superfan's Facebook Posts
#Tim and Ray discuss the Muslim Gold Star father Khizr Khan's DNC speech and controversy around Trump, China tensions, then Tim reads increasingly unhinged racist Facebook posts and Trump memes from a Long Island Trump-supporting Facebook friend.
10moments
- 29:30Tim describes China conducting military exercises to intimidate over the South China Sea, noting Trump's supposed closeness with China doesn't worry them.
- 29:59The DNC put up Khizr Khan, a Muslim Gold Star father whose son died in Iraq, as a speaker at the convention.
- 30:32Khan has ties to Islamist front groups operating out of Saudi Arabia, though Tim notes all U.S. leaders have similar foreign entanglements.
- 31:02Tim observes the polarization on Facebook: the left demands free healthcare, housing, and college; the right posts incoherent grievances.
- 31:20His Facebook friend epitomizes the Long Island Yahoo—a Trump superfan whose profile picture is himself with a MAGA hat or Trump hair filter.
- 31:58The guy posts that Breitbart should poach Hannity and O'Reilly from Fox to start their own station, removing liberal commentators like Megyn Kelly and Juan Williams.
- 32:26Such a station would resemble Alex Jones but focused on hating minorities instead of conspiracy theories.
- 32:56The Long Island guy posts that Chelsea Clinton should wear a burka because she's ugly, his political commentary reduced to personal insults.
- 33:24His posts list serious issues—ISIS, illegal immigration, the economy, Iran—dismissing coverage of a dead lion as unimportant.
- 33:43A contingent of Trump supporters believes they've been under attack for the past decade through what they call political correctness.
Fox NewsChelsea ClintonChinaBill O'ReillySean HannityFacebookDemocratic National CommitteeBreitbart+6 more
- 8 min
Trump as a Roast Battle and Comparing Him to H.H. Holmes
#Tim and Ray debate whether the election has become a 'roast battle,' discuss Trump's business practices of stiffing contractors, compare him to serial killer H.H. Holmes, and analyze Trump's billionaire mindset versus figures like Rockefeller.
13moments
- 34:11Tim does edgy jokes about bullying in a French Canadian city and gets laughs despite the audience likely not being Trump voters.
- 34:30People defined by being anti-politically correct are as insane as the PC crowd, and the most vapid want to get laughs by being racist rather than funny.
- 34:52This election has become tabloid junk fodder, removing the burden of understanding how government, institutions, and entrenched interests actually work.
- 35:24The 2024 election is literally a roast battle, and people who don't understand it think the president can just wave a wand and change the country.
- 35:47Obama kept dropping drones everywhere despite his pre-presidency writings suggesting he was skeptical of using military force to solve problems.
- 36:32America has a $2 trillion war machine and a financial services industry consolidated on the East Coast that you can't just regulate without working with people.
- 37:00Bill Burr nailed it: Trump is a billionaire guy who lives on top of a building, and that's how he talks.
- 37:44Unlike Rockefeller or Carnegie, Trump has a distinctly new money, garish 1980s quality—the Greed Is Good, Gordon Gekko ethos.
- 38:47Trump is a stick-and-move hustler who franchises his name on buildings worldwide and has a documented pattern of not paying subcontractors.
- 39:29That evasion tactic Trump used—finding bullshit reasons not to pay contractors—is exactly what H.H. Holmes, the first serial killer, used to avoid his debts.
- 40:02H.H. Holmes built a murder mansion for the Chicago World's Fair with hallways leading nowhere, torture chambers in the basement, and trap doors in various rooms.
- 40:59Trump's brilliance is that he's a crony exposing cronyism, and the idea of him coming out saying 'I played the game, this is how it's played' is interesting because nobody else has really done that.
- 41:23American elections traffic in false narratives between opposing pairs—mommy and daddy, pull yourself up by bootstraps, tough on crime versus compassion—with meta-narratives underneath.
Bill BurrH.H. HolmesThe Devil and the White City
- 3 min
Trump-Putin Relationship and Election as Exposed Sham
#Tim and Ray speculate on Trump's relationship with Putin, whether Russia leaked the DNC emails, and Tim's theory that Trump is uniquely honest about the corruption of the political system he used to benefit from.
8moments
- 41:38Trump presents himself as exposing the election as a sham while claiming he was the one pulling strings in Washington.
- 42:04Tim argues Trump could shine light on banking corruption and Saudi Arabia dealings but hasn't gone deep enough.
- 42:42Trump censors himself to avoid upsetting the system too much despite his brash public persona.
- 43:12Putin likely views Trump as a useful idiot who he could exploit in strategic dealings.
- 43:40Tim suggests Putin sees a Trump presidency as an opportunity to move into Ukraine and do what he wants.
- 44:16After 9-11 the Bush administration focused on nation states; Obama shifted to a more hostile posture toward Putin.
- 44:31Tim asks whether Russia leaked the DNC emails damaging to Sanders through WikiLeaks.
- 44:44Tim pivots to the unsolved death of the DNC staffer as a lingering question.
Vladimir PutinJulian AssangeBarack ObamaWikiLeaksSaudi ArabiaISISUkraine
- 7 min
Tim and Ray discuss the murder of DNC staffer Seth Rich, joking darkly about conspiracy theories involving the DNC and Clinton wanting him 'whacked,' plus a tangent about the earlier death of 9/11 conspiracy author Philip Marshall.
10moments
- 44:50A DNC staffer working a normal day registering voters gets shot in the head by someone who feels bad about it and doesn't rob him.
- 45:21Tim questions the logic of a shooting in DC that leaves the wallet and watch untouched.
- 45:34Tim clarifies he never said he was against whacking the DNC staffer.
- 46:37Philip Marshall wrote 9/11 conspiracy books, then he and his kids and dog all ended up dead in California—suicide, murder, suicide—it's all weird.
- 46:59Tim defends the CIA in the Marshall killing: Marshall flew drugs for Barry Seal, made his money that way, and maybe shouldn't have been running his mouth about the Saudis.
- 47:58Seth Rich was 27, worked for the DNC, and was shot with no witnesses at 4:20 AM.
- 48:24Tim and Dana debate whether people actually go out at 4:20 in the morning to smoke weed.
- 49:11There had been a string of robberies in the area, but they didn't rob Rich.
- 49:44Reddit theories claimed Rich was going to the FBI with more documents, but Tim says the FBI is in the pocket anyway.
- 50:34If you're going to be president and some staffer is going to dump emails at the feds, of course you're going to have him whacked—that's just politics.
Democratic National CommitteeSeth Conrad RichPhilip Marshall
- 3 min
The Other Tim Dillon Who Works at Marvel
#Tim discusses the unrelated Tim Dillon who keeps getting tagged in his tweets, who works as executive director of marketing at Marvel, and jokes about their follower counts and getting into Avengers premieres.
9moments
- 51:37Tim Dillon the Marvel executive has been getting angry at tweets about the Illuminati directed at him by mistake.
- 51:54People tag him in old show announcements and he always responds "not me."
- 52:11Tim suggests they should swap Twitter accounts to solve the problem.
- 52:28Tim has a show in Long Island at a place called Four in Melville, a warehouse converted into a bar on Route 110.
- 52:55White truffle pizza is what Melville is known for and what Tim actually wants to eat there.
- 53:16Tim watched a reality show about someone cheating and now sees that person running their mouth—he wants to break their head over white truffle pizza.
- 53:30Tony Agio showed up to a show Tim did there in 316.
- 53:44Tim criticizes white kids in 2003 high schools appropriating G-Unit culture, saying "G G G" constantly.
- 54:16The other Tim Dillon is executive director of marketing at Marvel with 3,309 Twitter followers.
- 2 min
Marvel Tim's Anti-Troop Tweet Discovery
#They dig through the Marvel Tim Dillon's Twitter and find an inflammatory tweet about soldiers' parents wishing they died in Iraq, prompting Tim to riff on the absurdity of the mix-up.
6moments
- 54:53Tim describes his recent tweet as something about taking time off to play Xbox after difficult months.
- 55:29The tweet reads: 'Sorry to say, but many of your parents wish you died in Iraq.'
- 55:43Tim explains the tweet was about a Muslim soldier and how parents wished he'd died with honor rather than flopping around at UCB.
- 56:05Steinberg, a kid who worked at Marvel, had been on the show and found the tweet funny.
- 56:29On this episode Tim defended the killing of a DNC staffer and a 9-11 whistleblower.
- 56:42Tim says he presents both sides of stories so people can see what the killers may be thinking.
Kelly RipaDNC stafferMarvel
- 4 min
Manager Brian's 'It's Great' Applied to Everything (Torture, Trafficking, Pigs)
#Tim extends the earlier bit about his manager's emotionless 'it's great' catchphrase into increasingly dark hypothetical scenarios like torture, trafficking, and a pig being slaughtered, plus the 'see the ball, hit the ball' pep talk.
9moments
- 57:09Tim's manager would have been a great Guantanamo prison guard, sleeping soundly while watching torture, saying "it's great."
- 57:31Applying the same logic to a pig on a farm being slaughtered: "It's great."
- 57:41Manager suggests Tim as a fat lifeguard who isn't saving anybody, delivering "It's great, it's great" as feedback.
- 57:59Tim pitches a Married with Children concept on the beach; manager responds to everything with "It's great."
- 58:31Manager sent Tim's YouTube link to another big client who didn't respond; manager insists Tim probably disgusts her but "it's great, gonna be great."
- 59:03Tim imagines his manager in other careers requiring emotional detachment while watching people die, like human trafficking operations.
- 59:18Manager discussing 15-year-old Ukrainian trafficking victims in a crate: "It's great. There's no crying in trafficking."
- 59:51Before Tim went on stage, while other comedians' managers gave pep talks, his manager just said, "See the ball. Hit the ball."
- 1:00:14Tim's manager uses the same pre-game baseball advice he gives his kids, but it works on Tim because he doesn't want to let the guy down.
GuantanamoThe Hamptons
- 2 min
Ray's Parents Watching His Tranny Blowjob Bit
#Tim describes watching Ray's parents stoically eat chicken wings without reacting while Ray performed a raunchy bit about giving a blowjob and gay porn.
6moments
- 1:00:31Tim compares sociopaths to regular people: both avoid disappointment because feeling human is undesirable.
- 1:00:43The goal is to succeed at something, then sit down and insult everyone else—not be the loser walking off the baseball field.
- 1:01:06Ray's parents attended his baseball games, but he embarrassed them.
- 1:01:24During the bit, Ray quoted: 'Nobody jerked off gay porn in front of me in frenzy.'
- 1:01:47Ray's parents have seen his material before and accept it—they recognize that's their son up there.
- 1:01:58Tim notes Barry, Ray's father, is more conservative and may not have enjoyed the bit as much.
- 2 min
Tim wraps the show thanking listeners, promoting the GAS Digital subscription and iTunes reviews, and lists upcoming tour dates in Yonkers and Vermont with Dan Soder, while Ray plugs his roast of Zardan Richardson.
4moments
- 1:02:07Tim pitches listeners on upcoming guests, noting they're trying to get people who don't care about their career stage.
- 1:02:29Social media handles: Tim J. Dillon on Twitter, Tim Dillon on Facebook, Tim J. Dillon on Instagram.
- 1:03:04Subscribe to GAS Digital with promo code L for six dollars a month to access all the shows.
- 1:03:21Tim teases upcoming TV stuff to be announced next week.
GaS DigitalDan SoderZardan Richardson