Episode 396 · The Studio Revamp
Rodent Men & Justin Timberlake | The Tim Dillon Show #396
Jun 22, 2024 · 1:04:28 · 468,000 views · 22 segments, 122 moments indexed
Tim examines the rat men phenomenon, the pride flag, Justin Timberlake's arrest, summer abortions, cartels’ immigration packages, the most American city and happy dictators.
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- 1 min
Business Manager MIA for Juneteenth in Palm Springs
#Tim opens by noting his business manager isn't answering his phone because he's celebrating Juneteenth in Palm Springs, joking about the tiny local Black population.
2moments
- Tim's business manager went missing on Juneteenth to celebrate in Palm Springs, which has a Black population of about four people.
- Women are now having sex with men who have rat-like faces.
- 4 min
The Year of the Rat: Timothée Chalamet, Jeremy Allen White, and 'Rodent Men'
#Tim riffs on a trend of women being attracted to men with rat-like features, running through Chalamet, Jeremy Allen White, Conor, and Barry Keoghan as different flavors of 'sexy rat,' and speculating on the sociopolitical meaning of the fetish.
6moments
- Tim clarifies he's not saying Timothée Chalamet and Jeremy Allen White look like rats—The Guardian is.
- Women have rotating fetishes for body types: dad bod, muscular guys, nerds, and now the latest iteration is rodent men.
- Tim breaks down which celebrities embody the rat aesthetic: Chalamet looks like a sexy Disney rat, Jeremy Allen White like a tranquilized rat, and Barry Keogan is the Rat King.
- This rat trend might be the opening door to people having sex with animals, though it's really about fantasizing over attractive guys as cartoon rats.
- Tim addresses rat men directly: this is their summer, their time, after years of having squirrely features considered bothersome.
- There's a masculinity to being a rat—it involves the cheese element, filthiness, tunnels, and possibly a connection to women's True Crime obsession with being thrown in trunks.
Jeremy Allen WhiteTimothée ChalametBarry KeoghanConor
- 3 min
Tim discusses the viral secret recording of a Supreme Court wife (referred to as Marianne) complaining about the pride flag, and gives his take on gotcha journalism before pivoting into confusion over what the modern Pride flag's colors actually mean.
4moments
- Tim discusses Marianne Alito and admits she's 'a fun nut' while explaining why he's not shocked by gotcha journalism revealing what institutions actually think.
- As a gay person, Tim says he can't figure out what the modern pride flag even is anymore—it's circles, squares, triangles, too many colors.
- Tim's friend looked at a pride flag in West Hollywood and asked if one of the symbols was for the hostages because he couldn't tell what it represented.
- Tim acknowledges Marianne Alito's confusion about the pride flag isn't entirely unreasonable given how convoluted and crazy it's become.
Supreme Courtpride flagClarence ThomasJames O'KeefeMarann Alo
- 3 min
He has his producer pull up an actual explainer for the Progress Pride flag and reads through what each color and shape supposedly represents, including the intersex triangle circle.
5moments
- The new Progress Pride flag took something gay and made it aesthetically ugly—the colors clash and no gay interior designer would ever put it in their home.
- Tim asks what each color on the flag actually represents, noting that people have given up trying to explain it.
- Reading the official breakdown: red is life, orange is healing, yellow is sunlight, green is nature, indigo is serenity.
- The new Progress Pride flag added colors to represent people of color, intersex people, and non-binary individuals.
- The flag's new triangular shape with a narrow stripe design was intentional—meant to convey the separation of these groups and show progress still needed.
- 6 min
Old People, Idle Time, and Marianne's Homemade Shame Flags
#Tim expands into a broader theory that idle time is dangerous for people, especially the elderly, and that society is now run by listening to the musings of old, disconnected people; he circles back to Marianne's habit of inventing her own flags in her head.
9moments
- The pride flag now includes a yellow triangle with a purple circle for the intersex community, which Tim finds aesthetically displeasing and confusing.
- Tim compares the updated pride flag to a Trump ad and questions whether anyone in the design meeting suggested it was getting too crowded.
- The current pride flag represents a conservative approach—someone had to draw the line and stop adding new colors at six.
- Tim discusses Marianne and notes he doesn't know what she feels about gay people or whether she even cares, since her husband is the one on the Supreme Court.
- A strong strain of fundamentalism runs through America, and the left's ascendant ideology sparked a traditionalist response.
- The country works best with a Live and Let Live mentality, but Tim argues everyone in America essentially needs to be worked to death.
- Tim fears that with AI reducing work, people will have idle time, and idle time is the devil's plaything—evidenced by Boomers' behavior now that they have free time.
- An amount of free time exists that is unhealthy for any human being, and Marianne, who doesn't work, has time to sit around bothered by the pride flag.
- The woman Marianne is sitting around knocking back drinks while complaining about the pride flag and wants a sacred Jesus flag instead.
Boomerspride flagArtificial Intelligencefundamentalismintersex Community
- 3 min
He plays or paraphrases audio of Marianne describing the flags she's invented in her head, including one reading 'vergogna' (shame) and another referencing Pirates of the Caribbean's Tortuga.
9moments
- Tim describes Marianne's plan to put up different flags across the lagoon after her husband's vacation ends, including one she designed in her head
- The 'Vergogna' flag: white with yellow and orange flames and the Italian word for shame in the middle
- Tim characterizes Marianne as a Long Island lunatic whose flag-making reveals how the people running everything lack actual skills
- A deeply conservative Catholic Italian lady sick of looking at the pride flag is not particularly newsworthy, Tim argues
- Tim imagines her husband coming home daily to hear about new flag designs, including one inspired by Pirates of the Caribbean
- The 'Tortuga' flag: baby blue representing the sky with the prison from Pirates of the Caribbean in the middle
- This is what happens at the end of life when there's not much left to do, unlike previous generations who were shut-ins tinkering quietly
- Louis C.K.'s bit about hating those little trinket shops run by women with their small dreams, like a seagull made from driftwood
- Marianne sits at home all day making flags in her head to convey things, including one about shame itself
Louis C.K.Gray GardensSupreme CourtPirates of the CaribbeanJohnny Depp
- 4 min
Old People Running Everything and the Supreme Court's Real Power
#Tim generalizes that culture is now just dissecting the ramblings of elderly officials, jabs at Ruth Bader Ginsburg for not retiring, and predicts most hot-button issues will get kicked down to state ballots and voters sorting themselves by state.
8moments
- Tim on culture's obsession with interpreting the musings of elderly people in power, from presidents to Supreme Court justices.
- An old woman manufactures imaginary flags in her head to satisfy herself, like one representing the return of shame to society.
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg could have retired but didn't, allowing a conservative-tilting Supreme Court instead of a democratic one.
- Amy Coney Barrett won't be as conservative as expected because she has 25 African orphan children and already swings left on some issues.
- The Supreme Court will kick cultural hot-button issues down to individual states, where they land on ballots and get decided locally.
- Texas is 103 degrees with swamps for lakes but at least criminals go to jail; California is beautiful but homeless people cut you taking out garbage.
- Life is about tradeoffs—cheap Upstate New York has depressing factories and CVS junkies, or you can jump around dodging problems like he does.
- Marjorie Taylor Greene's husband could affect people's lives in certain ways, but there are usually workarounds for most of these issues anyway.
- 2 min
The Seasonal Abortion Road Trip
#Tim builds out a bit about timing abortions like vacations, suggesting people in red states take a 'holiday' to blue states like Vermont or Massachusetts to combine the procedure with a nice getaway.
6moments
- Tim describes how Texas abortion restrictions turn the procedure into a vacation opportunity to escape summer heat.
- A trip to Vermont for an abortion includes pancake breakfast and kayaking on scenic lakes.
- Tim's strategy: time your abortions in red states during peak summer heat, then travel to blue states during cooler months.
- Frame the trip as a holiday to avoid suspicion—say it the British way to make it sound nicer.
- People stay depressed and anxious believing the government will take their rights, but there's usually a workaround to what they want to do anyway.
- Tim pitches a seasonal summer abortion in the Northeast as the ideal escape from red state August temperatures, with October being the prime month.
- 3 min
Tim discusses Justin Timberlake's DUI in the Hamptons, joking about press descending on Sag Harbor, contrasting rich vs. low-income reactions to news vans, and praising Jewish diners for chasing off reporters at a restaurant.
8moments
- Justin Timberlake's tour wasn't selling, he's drunk in the Hamptons and gets pulled over.
- Tim calls for the news vans to get out of Sag Harbor—wealthy people don't want press coverage like low-income areas do.
- Low-income neighborhoods actually get excited when news vans arrive, but rich people never do.
- Stuart LaVine, a former executive chef, told a reporter he won't get his Pulitzer Prize for this, chasing off the press.
- Tim argues you need Jewish people to confront the press because WASPs won't do confrontation.
- All the food in WASP restaurants sucks because they're afraid to make eye contact with waiters.
- Jews are essential because they know how to complain, which keeps restaurants good or forces them out of business.
- Tim's advice: Justin Timberlake shouldn't drive drunk—if you're rich, hire a driver instead of being lazy.
Justin TimberlakeStuart LaVine
- 2 min
Fake Interview With a Drunk Justin Timberlake
#Tim spins a fabricated bit where he claims to have been drinking with Timberlake, who allegedly justified drunk driving by comparing it to illegal immigration at the southern border.
5moments
- Tim says Justin Timberlake threw Janet Jackson under the bus and appears haunted by it.
- Tim claims he was drinking with Justin Timberlake and told him not to get in a car.
- Drunk Justin's rationale: he doesn't respect the laws because thousands of people cross the southern border daily.
- Tim pivots to Mexican cartels offering VIP packages for migrants.
- Description of the tunnel migrants use: dark, narrow, toxic gases, insects, rattlesnakes, rodents in water.
Justin TimberlakeJanet JacksonMexican cartelsJeremy Allen White
- 4 min
Tim reacts to a news report about Mexican cartels offering premium 'VIP' smuggling packages through tunnels into El Paso, comparing it to airline classes and joking he'd actually feel better about immigration if migrants are paying big money for safer passage.
10moments
- Mexican cartels offer VIP migration packages through tunnels for $6,000 to $15,000.
- Cartel travel agencies operate like legitimate businesses, sending cell phone codes to protect VIP customers from police and rival gangs.
- Tim: US government is outsourcing migration policy to criminal organizations instead of fixing the immigration system.
- A Juárez cartel smuggles at least a thousand migrants through tunnels into El Paso monthly.
- Tim feels better about migrants who pay for luxury smuggling—they're doing something very American by paying criminals to make life easier.
- Cartels have shifted focus: human trafficking now pays $10,000-$15,000 per person versus $1,500 for cocaine with much higher risk.
- Tim compares cartel smuggling operations to airline tiers and suggests migrants should come on the show to review different tunnel experiences.
- Tim speculates whether cartels clean rats and snakes out of premium tunnels as a competitive perk for VIP customers.
- Tim wonders if migrants get breakfast once they reach El Paso as part of the VIP package experience.
- Understanding the actual perks cartels offer would require interviews with migrants who speak Spanish.
Mexican cartelsEl PasoBlanca Narhuman trafficking
- 2 min
Only Let VIP-Smuggled Immigrants In & Summer Road Danger
#He jokes about an immigration policy that only admits cartel-smuggled VIPs, then transitions into a bit about summer driving dangers and someone getting beheaded in a car accident.
3moments
- Tim proposes a cartel-smuggled immigration FastPass system: let in only immigrants who can pay $12-15k, proving they have means to support themselves.
- Summer driving season brings distracted drivers on phones texting and talking, which leads to people getting beheaded on the highway.
- Kathleen Rice, former Long Island DA, was radicalized after a drunk driver going the wrong way hit a limo, resulting in a child being beheaded.
- 1 min
Tim reads the Morgan & Morgan injury law firm ad, tying it to his beheading joke about calling them if you're ever injured.
2moments
- Tim emphasizes the importance of suing people who owe you and getting what is yours, especially during summer when people act foolishly.
- Morgan & Morgan charges no fee unless they win, with contact information provided via website or phone code.
- 2 min
Tim reads the ad for Mood's hemp-derived THC products, mentioning the discount code and briefly riffing on the brand name and a song lyric.
4moments
- Tim tried all the Mood products and loves them, praising the packaging and delivery speed.
- He references the song "Always in a Mood" and jokes about the music industry meaning of "quick in and out."
- Mood offers federally legal THC extracted from hemp plants, and Tim adds "take that Biden."
- Different strains target specific moods—euphoric, energized, creative, and chill—with versatile products for any consumption method.
- 1 min
Tim reads the Shady Rays sunglasses ad, riffing on wearing them on a boat, lake, float, and moat with a goat.
2moments
- Tim admits he's not currently wearing Shady Rays but claims to wear them constantly on beaches, boats, lakes, and floats, and even on a moat with a goat.
- People stop Tim in stores to ask what sunglasses he's wearing, and he tells them Shady Rays.
- 6 min
Tim reacts to an Atlantic article calling Phoenix America's most American city, describing extreme heat dangers like second-degree burns from touching pavement, dystopian desert homeless populations, and advising people to judge neighborhoods by the character of local homeless people.
11moments
- The Atlantic calls Phoenix the most American city, at 113 degrees.
- Phoenix's fastest growth is a bad sign; most of it is uninspiring sprawl, not Paradise Valley or Scottsdale.
- The pavement in Phoenix is hot enough to cause second-degree burns from a fall, yet people treat it as desirable.
- The American desert has seductive appeal—sunsets, open spaces—but living there doesn't match the fantasy.
- Desert homeless look different; they're caked in colorful dirt, giving them a Mad Max appearance like Star Wars sand people.
- When touring homes with a realtor, ask immediately where people who aren't doing well live—that reveals the real character of a place.
- Buy homes based on the character of the homeless in the area: their temperament, friendliness, and whether they have talents.
- Austin's homeless are aggressive Texans; California's are laid-back; the desert homeless are terrifying to behold.
- People flock to the desert because it seems untapped and full of potential development, but it's the surface of Mars.
- As Phoenix gets hotter, people will die in front of you constantly, and eventually you'll become numb to it like junkies OD-ing in Whole Foods.
- Heat will reach levels where people just pass out on the street as a normal occurrence.
PhoenixhomelessnessThe AtlanticdesertAustinParadise ValleyScottsdale
- 3 min
People Getting Cooked Alive on Phoenix Sidewalks
#He extends the Phoenix heat bit into a graphic hypothetical of elderly or overweight people passing out and being burned on the pavement while bystanders have to lift them up, describing it like cooking cheeseburgers on a griddle.
4moments
- Tim describes elderly people passing out on Phoenix sidewalks so hot they get burned by the pavement and start screaming for help.
- People cooking on the pavement like little human cheeseburgers that passersby have to either help or step over on their way into grocery stores.
- Phoenix is great if you can leave in June and come back in October, but staying year-round means dealing with people collapsing and burning on sidewalks.
- Tim warns that the reality of Phoenix heat is coordinating with strangers to lift up overweight locals who then collapse on top of you, both of you ending up burning on the pavement.
- 1 min
Tim reads the Hims erectile dysfunction telehealth ad, describing the online process and pricing versus Viagra.
3moments
- Tim reads a Hims erectile dysfunction treatment ad, emphasizing the convenience of getting treated without leaving home.
- Hims offers multiple treatment options instead of a one-size-fits-all approach, including chewable tablets and generic alternatives up to 95% cheaper than brand names.
- The process is entirely online—answer questions, get evaluated by a medical provider, and receive free shipping of prescribed medication with no insurance required.
- 1 min
A short read for Robinhood's investment platform mentioning IRAs, ETFs, and options trading.
1moment
- Robinhood ad plays, promoting commission-free stock trading and investment products like IRAs, ETFs, and options trading.
- 6 min
Tim covers the news that champion eater Joey Chestnut was barred from the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest for endorsing a vegan hot dog brand, defending Chestnut as a legend just trying to make money for his family and mocking the plant-based meat industry.
8moments
- Joey Chestnut banned from Nathan's 2024 hot dog eating contest due to deal with Impossible Foods, a vegan frank brand.
- Chestnut has won the Nathan's contest 16 times consecutively since 2016, including a record 76 hot dogs in 2021.
- Tim argues Nathan's should have let Chestnut compete because he's earned that right through consistency and dominance.
- Money is shifting toward plant-based meat products—sludge the world will have to accept—and Chestnut was just following the market.
- Tim notes Chestnut never engaged in the scandals plaguing others; he stayed clean and now just needs to provide for his family.
- Chestnut is doing this deal for his kids, knowing they won't follow his competitive eating path and need financial security.
- Nathan's should have matched Impossible Foods' offer instead of banning their 16-time champion over a sponsorship dispute.
- Start a new vegan hot dog eating contest and take down Nathan's monopoly—let Joey Chestnut compete on his own terms.
Joey ChestnutNathan's Hot Dog Eating ContestImpossible Foods
- 4 min
Tim reacts to photos/video of Putin and Kim Jong-un driving around and bonding in a Russian-built Aurus limousine in North Korea, sarcastically praising US foreign policy for pushing adversarial countries into closer military alliances.
8moments
- Putin and Kim Jong-un have a photo together goofing around, which is rare for dictators to display publicly.
- Tim claims Vladimir Putin is driving the Rolls-Royce Phantom limousine in the video.
- Tim refuses to continue demonizing North Korea after seeing how pretty and green it looks in the footage.
- U.S. foreign policy accidentally pushed Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran to form their own military alliance instead of staying divided.
- America could have kept NATO quiet and used it selectively instead of shoving it down everyone's throat and forcing new countries to join.
- Putin and Kim took turns driving the Aurus limousine—a Russian-built bootleg Rolls-Royce—through Pyongyang.
- Tim appreciates the landscaping in North Korea and notes it looks well done.
- Watching Putin and Kim driving around, back-slapping and having fun, can only mean good things are coming.
- 1 min
Tim closes the show with housekeeping about an upcoming taped special, plus tour date details for Nashville's Ryman Auditorium and Rivers Casino in Des Plaines, Illinois.
4moments
- Tim taped a fun special at the store that will be out in the fall.
- Nashville show is June 29th at the Ryman Auditorium, a couple days before the election.
- Des Plaines, Illinois show at Rivers Casino Event Center on November 2nd, 2024 at 7 p.m., three days before the election.
- Tickets available at Tim Dillon Comedy dot com and Tim Dillon Show on YouTube and Patreon.