rant · moment 2 of 15

Pilots Are the Truck Drivers of the Sky

from Price Of Poison | The Tim Dillon Show #379 · #379

5 min

Tim riffs on how private pilots won't stop talking to passengers, recounts a pilot inviting his friends into the cockpit, and imagines a horrifying death caused by his own fat hitting a hydraulics button.

In this bit9 moments
  • Tim has been flying private with his jet broker Dirk and learning lessons about not engaging pilots in conversation.
  • Pilots are the truck drivers of the sky—no one cares what they say until there's turbulence or an actual problem.
  • One pilot got out of the seat for half an hour asking Tim what it's like to be a comedian while the other could have had a stroke in the cockpit.
  • The pilot assumed Tim liked aviation because he asked a few questions, then offered to let him go up front.
  • Tim's friends wanted to go up front and take photos; one of them sat in the co-pilot seat while pilots encouraged it.
  • Tim refuses to sit in the cockpit seat because his fat could hit a button and kill everyone at 38,000 feet.
  • Tim imagines the humiliation of dying in a death spiral because someone's gut shut off the hydraulics.
  • Tim's new strategy: don't speak to pilots at all, maybe learn some Norwegian to avoid conversation.
  • Passengers going up front to the cockpit can't actually be allowed, but the pilots keep offering it anyway.
Mentioned here

pilotsrich people

All 15 moments in this episode →