rant · moment 4 of 14
Pleading With the Poor Not to Kill Him (Bank Run Fears)
from Please Behave | The Tim Dillon Show #338 · #338
8 min
Tim does an extended bit begging poor people to 'behave' and not riot or kill him in his 2018 Bentley if ATMs stop working, promising government care packages of pasta and cake, while joking he's only recently become rich.
- Tim pleads with the poor to stay calm during a potential bank collapse and not kill him when they realize their money is gone.
- His specific plea: if banks won't let people withdraw money, they should watch Netflix instead of rioting in the streets.
- Government will provide care packages with canned pasta and food; bugs are nutritious and crunchy like cookies.
- Tim admits he only got rich recently at age 38 after being broke and fat his whole life, so the wealth disparity isn't his fault.
- His expensive glasses cost $1,100, which he acknowledges is someone's monthly rent, and he feels conflicted about the inequality.
- Instead of targeting him, the poor should kill wealthy people who've had money for decades—he'll even help them start a podcast.
- Peter Schiff has been predicting this banking collapse for years; it's a liquidity crisis the Fed can't fix by lowering rates.
- If the poor behave during the collapse, they'll receive pasta, cake bits with Funfetti sprinkles, and smoothies for bone health.
- People will be allowed outside for exercise, but violent mobs demanding his 2018 Bentley won't help anyone—it's not even that good.
- Tim summarizes: please don't riot, the government will provide, and go after the truly wealthy instead.