News · moment 1 of 23
Long Island Deli Double Murder
from Pete Hegseth, War Crimes, & The Breakfast Rush | The Tim Dillon Show #473 · #473
6 min
News
Tim reacts to a news story about a young man who stabbed both his parents to death in a Long Island deli, riffing on Long Island family dynamics, the surviving parent's likely insufferable complaining, and the clumsy grammar of local witnesses quoted in news reports.
- A young man killed both his parents by stabbing them to death in a Long Island deli in Beth Page.
- Tim notes that patricide isn't as rare as people think on Long Island—it actually happens fairly often.
- A deli should be a place of peace and reflection, not where someone stabs their parents to death.
- Tim explains why killing both parents makes sense: if you kill only one, the surviving parent becomes insufferable and never lets you forget it.
- Police say a man and woman were stabbed to death just after 9 a.m. Thursday; the man taken into custody was one of their three sons.
- Witnesses quote the man saying casually, 'I JUST SEEN THE SUN WALKING OUT,' with the killer claiming 'I STABBED MY PARENTS' as if nothing happened.
- Tim mocks the absurdity: the guy stabs his parents at 9 a.m. with bacon sizzling on the griddle, disrupting someone's favorite deli experience.
- Everyone on Long Island has a deli they grew up with; the good ones are becoming fewer and far between, and this was someone's beloved spot.
Long IslandBeth Page