rant · moment 23 of 26
Raising Your Kids to Be Fat Trans Satanists on Purpose
from Patreon Bonus #186 - The Tim Dillon Show · #186
4 min
The bit escalates into a mock parenting speech encouraging kids to eat ice cream, pick any gender, and worship Satan, plus a fantasy about a fat trans Satanist Republican candidate running on low corporate taxes.
- Tim describes the ideal way to talk about your daughter becoming a fat trans Satanist to your friend Bob.
- It's easy to love your kids if they're exactly like you, but harder if they're morbidly obese trans Satanists.
- By the time current ten-year-olds turn eighteen, everybody will be a fat trans Satanist, and those who aren't will face Jim Crow-style ostracization.
- Tim advises parents to tell their children to eat unlimited ice cream, pick any gender, and worship Satan to give them tools to succeed.
- He's become so desensitized that finding a 900-pound devil-horned employee at Starbucks would barely register as notable.
- Tim argues that being a fat trans Satanist is fun, which is why Republicans can't win against it unless they run a capitalist fat trans Satanist.
- The political opposition has nothing fun to pitch, which is why morbidly obese trans Satanism appears to be the only way to have fun in the country anymore.