rant · moment 21 of 23

Fat Drone Pilots and the New Face of American Warfare

from Knuckleheads & Dodo Birds | The Tim Dillon Show #366 · #366

3 min

Tim jokes that military obesity doesn't matter anymore since modern warfare is fought with drones and DARPA tech by 'slovenly' button-pushers rather than ripped Navy SEALs, then riffs on a story about a young Marine hookup.

In this bit8 moments
  • Military recruitment struggles because everyone has become obese, but the solution is high-tech drone warfare operated by fat guys playing video games.
  • There's nothing more American than a disconnected fat slob in a room killing people via video game.
  • SEAL training should just involve handing someone a Big Mac and asking who they'd kill, then promoting them if they say everyone.
  • Modern warfare doesn't need fit people—it needs slovenly operators with numb fingertips willing to press buttons.
  • Tim recalls sleeping with a ripped but ignorant 24-year-old Marine from Southern California who didn't understand what was happening.
  • Tim met an 18-year-old from Kansas who wanted infantry combat but turned out to be smart, so now he's behind a computer livid he can't kill people face-to-face.
  • People who want to kill others should go into the military instead of doing it at home.
  • America has the best murderers and homicides in the world, though some from Chicago aren't as good.
Mentioned here

US militaryNavy SEAL trainingDARPAmilitary obesity

All 23 moments in this episode →