rant · moment 7 of 31
Florida Missing Fingers and Tim's "Biological Father" Bit
from Episode 149 - Ron Bennington (Live from Moontower) · #149
3 min
Riffing on Floridians losing fingers mysteriously, then a bit where Tim claims Ron is his biological father via an anal encounter with his "mermaid" mother in Florida.
- People born and raised in Florida lose at least one digit; they just wake up and fingers are gone.
- Tim claims to be Stan's biological father because he had sex with his mom in Florida.
- Stan says Tim was with Ron Bennington, which inspired him to get into broadcasting.
- Stan's mother was a mermaid performer at Weeki Wachee in Florida, which truckers would watch before strip clubs opened.
- Weeki Wachee mermaids are royalty in Florida, essentially the Kennedys of the state.
- The mermaids would reach for an air hose hidden in vines to breathe while performing underwater dance routines.
- Stan describes the scene as the Nutcracker for methheads, with people smoking meth in the parking lot.