News · moment 11 of 31
The Emu That Kicked a Man to Death and Florida Denny's Menu
from Episode 149 - Ron Bennington (Live from Moontower) · #149
3 min
News
A news item about a man kicked to death by an emu leads to jokes about Florida's absurd Denny's menu items and smoking Marlboro Reds in restaurants during meals.
- An emu kicked a man to death in Florida after he fell down—the bird had razor claws and just kept kicking until he died.
- That guy was the governor of Florida, and Texas is glad there's a Florida to take the heat off Texas.
- Denny's in Florida has food that makes no sense—like salted caramel banana cream pancakes—that nobody would ever want.
- Floridians will eat that nonsense pancake and then smoke a Marlboro Red 100 outside, and there's something beautiful about watching someone do a 100 and really commit to it.
- You could smoke in restaurants during meals not long ago—those times are gone now thanks to Obama.
- Tim's comics at his club would breathe in so much cigarette and cigar smoke they'd be huffing it back out during their sets.
- The club refused ventilation because secondhand smoke was considered fine back then, even though it obviously isn't.
- Tim hates WeWork—it's full of rich kids who go to Coachella, their fathers get them offices because they have Instagram followers, and they should just have a stapler to fix everything.