rant · moment 3 of 12
Cash Patel Drops Beastiality Ban for FBI Applicants
from Ed Sheeran, Sydney Sweeney, & Kash Patel’s Pet Fetish | The Tim Dillon Show #513 · #513
12 min
Extended riff on FBI Director Kash Patel, his Olympics drinking trip, and a real Senate hearing clip where Patel explains removing automatic disqualification for applicants who've engaged in beastiality, framed as blackmail leverage for the Bureau.
- Tim vouches for Cash Patel as FBI director, saying he trusts him to do classified work without needing to know details.
- Patel is supposedly handling the Epstein victims case, the Kirk situation, and Thomas Matthew Crooks investigation, yet Tim claims to feel satisfied without learning anything more.
- Tim defends not questioning Patel's decisions, citing trust and admiring his girlfriend's Israeli country music and his bakabazi dancing in Vegas.
- Cash Patel delegated counter-terrorism responsibilities to subordinates while traveling to the Olympics to celebrate with the US hockey team during an active Iranian terror threat.
- Patel has removed beastiality as an automatic disqualifier for FBI job applicants, a decision Tim initially refuses to question.
- Tim argues having sex with animals is easy and often accidental—it happens when you're horny, with friends, or as a joke to send in a group text.
- Patel testified that the new rules protect victims of beastiality who were trafficked and forced into such acts, not actual offenders.
- Tim lays out the criteria: people who had sex with animals but didn't enjoy it, didn't climax, or view it as a learning experience can work for the FBI.
- The real reason for this policy change is blackmail—Patel wants FBI employees on tape having sex with animals so the bureau can control them if they start asking questions about cover-ups.
- Senator Kennedy questions whether Patel is protecting offenders or victims, and Tim intercepts to clarify the actual policy allows people who engaged in beastiality.
- Tim argues the distinction between engaging in and being victimized by beastiality depends on the animal and whether it was enjoying itself—the missing piece in Patel's testimony.
- Patel claims he eliminated bureaucracy that prevented great Americans who've had sex with animals from being considered for FBI service.
- When Patel says everyone has kinks to justify the policy, Tim agrees that kink-shaming people who have sex with animals shouldn't disqualify them from covering up government scandals.
- Tim's conclusion: the bureau would prefer applicants had sex with animals on video, giving the FBI leverage to silence anyone questioning narratives like Crooks or Kirk.
Friend of the showKash PatelThomas Matthew CrooksJohn F. KennedyJeffrey Epstein