rant · moment 20 of 20
Closing Riff: The Lowe's Divorce Fantasy as the American Dream
from Degree Of Difficulty | The Tim Dillon Show #365 · #365
5 min
In an extended closing bit, Tim paints the best-case American life as working at a Lowe's, being divorced, dating an aloof smoker, and having a daughter who merely pities you rather than hates you, ending in a darkly comic vision of dying in a car crash — offered as the peaceful alternative to the Gaza Strip.
- Tim's vision of peace: turning Gaza into a mall where everyone works at Lowe's and is divorced.
- Working at Lowe's while divorced with a kid who doesn't hate you is the best realistic outcome in America.
- The average best-case scenario: Lowe's job at an outlet mall 45 minutes away, with a daughter who doesn't absolutely hate you.
- You have a few work friends from Lowe's and once went to Yard House together for chicken nachos.
- Dating a woman from work who won't live with anyone, has put up boundaries, smokes constantly, and likes waking up alone.
- Your daughter pities you, which might be worse than hatred, but at least you're not dying in the Gaza Strip.
- The promise: if both sides relax with religion, weapons, and killing, you could reach the Lowe's divorce dream.
- Your daughter calls and says she'll contact you when she returns; the smoking woman texts that she's around tonight.
- You think 'it's not that bad' before getting hit by a teenage driver you never see coming.
- You die in the car accident smiling about your daughter and mediocre sex, going out good, while Lowe's coworkers assume you're just having one of those nights.