rant · moment 14 of 19

Prank Calling the Hilton Port Moresby

from #296 - Selling Moresby | The Tim Dillon Show · #296

10 min

Tim proposes Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea as a budget vacation spot despite its extreme crime statistics, then actually calls the Hilton Port Moresby to ask about safety, machetes, and whether guests can survive by never leaving the hotel.

In this bit10 moments
  • Tim pitches Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea as an affordable tropical destination despite 80% of women experiencing sexual assault and frequent bush knife attacks.
  • He refuses to focus on negatives when discussing crime statistics, arguing the destination gets cheap once you arrive.
  • Getting robbed during a vacation could actually be a fun story to tell later rather than ruin the entire trip.
  • Staying at the Hilton Port Moresby and keeping to yourself makes the 84 per 1000 violent crime rate not so bad.
  • Tim calls the Hilton Port Moresby to book a family trip to the most violent city on Earth.
  • The hotel receptionist confirms Port Moresby is dangerous and advises guests not to leave the hotel.
  • The hotel offers in-room dining and a complimentary shuttle to the mall as the main attractions.
  • The receptionist explains they use Comfort taxis with tracked plate numbers for trips to attractions like the Botanical Garden.
  • Tim says he's sold on the destination because the hotel has guards and 24-hour room service.
  • He asks if the hotel will provide guests with machetes to defend themselves against attackers on the street.
Mentioned here

Port MoresbyPapua New GuineaHilton Port Moresby

All 19 moments in this episode →