rant · moment 23 of 26
Ben's Actual Easter Memory and the Furniture Shipping Logistics
from #295 - A Serene Retreat | The Tim Dillon Show · #295
4 min
After clarifying the Ben Jesus story was a joke, Ben describes his real childhood Easter egg hunts in West Texas; Tim then plans logistics of shipping furniture cross-country via a business manager call, joking about the manager being 'mentally challenged.'
- Ben's aunt on pills would lose her mind over Easter basket placement and hiding spots.
- Tim describes West Texas Easter tradition: church, field with hidden plastic eggs in mesquite trees and bushes, kids collecting them in baskets.
- The kid who finds the most eggs gets to trade them to the pastor in the back room for salvation.
- Tim realizes mid-conversation his plan is to ship all the Easter furniture east, including chairs arriving tomorrow.
- Tim plans to furnish the place with inflatable pool furniture and Scotchgard everything because it's going to smell like a Curves gym.
- After shipping the furniture east, Tim's next move is Florida, where he'll hate it within four to five months.
- Tim's Florida plan: turn the house into a sober house, move in guys, let them outside to do steps but they'll blast lines instead.
- Tim should move around the country, find he's miserable everywhere, then decide what kind of haunted house to run.
- Choose between running a halfway house for wayward white-knuckling sobriety-questioning men, or an Airbnb for fat bachelorettes eating edible cookie dough.
- Tim could move place to place ruining and making the already destroyed country grosser and more grotesque, one city at a time.