rant · moment 12 of 26
The Two Types of Husbands: Meth Guy and Gay Guy
from #295 - A Serene Retreat | The Tim Dillon Show · #295
3 min
Tim characterizes the two archetypal husbands of these women -- a lanky meth-smelling cheater, or a closeted gay man marrying for a small inheritance -- and imagines the miserable domestic life that follows.
- Tim identifies two types of husbands women marry: the lanky meth guy who smells like gasoline and claims he's getting it together, or the gay man.
- The woman repeats lines about her husband getting it together or figuring it out to her friends while avoiding eye contact.
- Tim describes the second husband type: fat and very gay, marrying for inheritance money while thinking of men during sex.
- The gay husband's child becomes an eating partner stuffed with chemicals and GMOs, essentially a dog on two legs for the mother to drive to food places.
- The meth husband can wear a collared shirt and imagine himself eventually working up to a management position at Enterprise Rent-A-Car.
- He's years away from that car rental management position but possesses the abstract ability to potentially someday achieve it in Jacksonville suburbs.
- Tim shifts to marketing advice for selling houses in Florida: put a windmill in the yard because fat people go crazy for them since wind cools them down.
Enterprise Rent-A-Car