rant · moment 4 of 33
Michelle's Re-Gifted Tiny Sweater
from #285 - Tim Dillon VS Substack | The Tim Dillon Show · #285
2 min
Tim describes his friend Michelle giving him a re-gifted sweater three sizes too small and insisting he'd fit it if he jogged, framing her as a sincere, self-deceiving liar.
- Tim on getting older and realizing you're dying, and birthday wishes being a kind of passive-aggressive death countdown.
- Finding cold chafing dishes from a fireman's retirement party in your hotel room and having to call the front desk to remove them.
- Tim argues it's never the thought that counts—it's a lie.
- Michelle is the type of liar who believes her own lies—she convinced herself the unwanted gift was meant for Tim.
- Michelle claimed Tim would fit the sweater if he jogged, leading to Tim's bit about jogging, getting hit by a bus, and being reincarnated still unable to fit into it.