rant · moment 7 of 17
Why Tim Isn't Going to His Family's Thanksgiving
from #278 - A Thanksgiving Tale | The Tim Dillon Show · #278
4 min
Tim explains he's estranged from parts of his family for personal (not political) reasons and will instead spend Thanksgiving with his 'fake family,' then rants about younger relatives overreaching with ambitious Thanksgiving cooking instead of sticking to the classics.
- Tim's family conflict: he's hated by multiple relatives for different reasons, some legitimate and some not.
- If he attended Thanksgiving, it would trigger conference calls, group texts, and email chains that might cause the whole event to be cancelled.
- His personal conflict with his aunt is the main barrier—it's not political, just a fundamental disagreement.
- Instead, Tim is celebrating Thanksgiving with his godson, godson's parents, and friend Michelle's family at a hotel.
- Family Thanksgiving food quality has declined because the older generation put in real work while younger cooks now think they're Wolfgang Puck.
- Tim's stepmother is such a terrible cook that serving a cold-cut platter for his birthday was essentially her way of telling him to leave.
- Smoked turkey is a mistake unless done by a real pit master—otherwise it's dry and smoky like eating a cigarette.
- His stepmother made a non-traditional New York Times cranberry sauce recipe that everyone ate "solemnly and sadly."
- Tim advises telling ambitious young cooks they're fighting out of their weight class and should just mash some potatoes instead of trying to be creative.