rant · moment 8 of 25
Complaining About Austin's Mediocrity and Bad Waiters
from #258 - Fat Recluse | The Tim Dillon Show · #258
3 min
Tim rants about wanting to leave Austin, comparing the local restaurant scene and its awkward-looking waitstaff to misshapen cookies, and mocking a fake Texas accent.
- Tim describes Austin as Manifest Destiny — a place he'd rather leave than stay, preferring to be stabbed by a machete-wielding psychopath than spend another minute in the land of mediocrity.
- Austin's people are C-list and uncooked, like misshapen cookies taken out of the oven too quickly — not something you'd put in a Christmas catalog.
- The waiters embody Austin's worst traits: white guys with LeBron James headbands and dreads, pickup basketball headbands, a walking collection of horrors.
- Tim mocks a waiter who insisted the food was good, claiming the guy wouldn't recognize actual quality if it climbed into his mouth and went to his brain.
- Servers keep interrupting the meal asking if the food is good, performing an exaggerated Texas accent that nobody in Austin actually uses.
- The locals sound like they were halfway mind-controlled and then released, their speech patterns incomplete and strange.
Manifest DestinyThe Clintons