rant · moment 17 of 21

Wanting to Ditch the Suburbs for a Modern Apartment

from #235 - Covid Kai | The Tim Dillon Show · #235

3 min

He muses about being single without a family filling up a suburban house, and wanting to move into an ultra-modern apartment building with amenities instead of dealing with charm and old-house problems.

In this bit9 moments
  • No internet available for two weeks because they're coming to the house.
  • Contractors respond that terminal cancer doesn't matter — wifi still can't be installed.
  • Tim notes he doesn't have a wife, kids, or dogs to justify a suburban life like his neighbor does.
  • He wants to move to a modern apartment building with amenities like a lap pool and gym.
  • People will eventually have to return to offices because remote work prevents meeting people and sexual contact.
  • High-end apartment buildings offer maid service and furnished units baked into the rent.
  • Tim doesn't enjoy home improvement projects and finds house tinkering boring, unlike staying funny at work.
  • His idea of a real project is predicting which entertainment industry figures will make the LA Times cover.
  • After his lease is up, Tim plans to leave suburban houses and move to a modern building with space-age amenities.

All 21 moments in this episode →