News · moment 6 of 23
CDC's Absurd Trick-or-Treating Guidelines
from #224 - American Chainsaw Massacre | The Tim Dillon Show · #224
2 min
News
He reads CDC Halloween safety guidelines aloud, mocking rules about isolated trick-or-treating, individually bagged candy stations, and mask requirements for costumes.
- Tim asks if kids are allowed to trick-or-treat, then says he'd sit down any child who shows up at his house to lecture them about civic duty.
- The CDC website recommends avoiding direct contact with trick-or-treaters—meaning kids shouldn't go near their friends.
- Tim questions the CDC's instruction to give out treats outdoors, pointing out that trick-or-treating has always been a doorstep activity and no normal parent invites kids inside.
- The CDC says to set up a station with individually bagged treats, which Tim dismisses as unworkable because someone will steal them all.
- Tim mocks the mask requirement for Halloween, joking that costume masks should count and that the CDC then contradicts itself by saying cloth masks are different.
- The CDC warns that masks should not be worn by children under two or anyone with breathing trouble, which Tim uses to mock the absurdity of allowing unmasked one-year-olds.
- Tim reads that people must stay six feet away from anyone they don't live with, noting that this describes most people anyway.