rant · moment 8 of 23
Uncle Henry's Impossible Guessing Game
from #222 - Running Out The Clock | The Tim Dillon Show · #222
4 min
He tells the story of his step-relative Henry, a brilliant and rude Cuban-orphan attorney, who invented a maddeningly specific object-guessing game at family gatherings that got him banned, plus a bit about his aunt's fake law practice in her basement.
- Uncle Henry's guessing game: he'd bring an unknown object to family gatherings and let people ask yes-or-no questions until someone guessed what it was.
- Henry answered questions with lawyer precision, parsing language to such absurd degrees that he'd say something wasn't in food production when it was actually used in harvesting.
- He was banned from playing the game because the competitive arguing got so bad that people would storm off insulted.
- At parties Henry would ask if anyone wanted to play the game, and people would commit to rounds that went thirty or forty minutes with no one guessing, and he'd refuse to let it end.
- Tim's family members asking the questions were often too drunk or stupid to generate useful clues, asking things like 'Did you find it in outer space?'
- Tim's aunt has a law degree she doesn't practice and has set up a fake law office in the basement where she pretends to work as an attorney.
- The aunt sits in the basement getting wine drunk and pretending to do law, with files on a desk and phones she insisted they install for the business.
- Henry is a fiercely liberal guy and genuinely smart—a Cuban orphan with a hard life story who earned the right to be a dick because he's so intelligent.
- Despite his accomplishments, Henry would throw the entire family into a rage with that guessing game.
HenryFake business