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The Tragic (Fake) Tale of Paul and Lucky Charms
from #204 - Katie Herzog | The Tim Dillon Show · #204
5 min
SponsorMagic Spoon
Tim tells an absurd, increasingly dark fabricated story about his childhood friend Paul who was abused by his parents and comforted with cereal, eventually revealed to have been killed and eaten by his parents, as a lead-in to the Magic Spoon ad.
- Tim introduces his best friend Paul, a kid who loved cereal and shared his values about freedom and democracy.
- Paul had a brutal home life—his parents drank heavily and beat him mercilessly.
- Tim would comfort Paul with bowls of Lucky Charms after he showed up to his house bloodied and beaten.
- One time Tim found Paul's parents attacking him in the backyard with hockey sticks, hitting what appeared to be his lifeless body.
- Tim carried Paul back to his house to nurse him back to life with Lucky Charms, comparing himself to Christ taking him off the cross.
- Paul is now dead—his parents cooked and ate him.
- Magic Spoon is a cereal company that recreates childhood favorites with zero sugar, twelve grams of protein, and only three net carbs per serving.
- Tim describes Magic Spoon's food scientists putting someone's head in a fish tank and breaking the glass while swirling it around.
- Tim realizes he's been talking about his friend's dog the whole time, not an actual person named Paul.