ad · moment 9 of 21
Hawthorne Cologne and Pheromone Talk
from #203 - Long Island Strong | The Tim Dillon Show · #203
2 min
SponsorHawthorne
Tim reads an ad for Hawthorne cologne and grooming products, joking about custom scents for looters and racist cops alike.
- Tim explains Hawthorne's personalized cologne system matches scent to your lifestyle based on a two-minute quiz.
- He riffs on the quiz prompts, improvising absurd character responses like "I am AI loot i riot" and "I'm a racist cop."
- Tim contrasts Hawthorne's personalized approach favorably to buying one-size-fits-all cologne from department stores that have burned down.
- He describes customizing his own lotion to smell like a Marlboro Light, claiming Hawthorne delivered exactly that.
- Personalized scent as a conversation starter: people will ask what you're wearing, and you tell them it's Hawthorne lotion, not a cigarette.