rant · moment 9 of 12
Fat Cops, Nightsticks, and the Cousin Who Got a Shillelagh for Christmas
from #202 - Puppies Rainbows Candy Lamborghinis | The Tim Dillon Show · #202
6 min
Tim jokes that cops should be forced to be extremely overweight so they can't chase or hurt anyone, recalls a family member becoming a cop who gleefully swung a nightstick around at Christmas, and criticizes militarized policing culture derived from pro wrestling.
- The bullies from school became cops, like the guy who used to spit on the blind girl for no reason.
- Tim argues cops should be 400 pounds minimum and unable to leave their cars without help, so they can't chase anyone down.
- Cops grew up watching WWF wrestling and think they're Hulk Hogan, applying fake chokeholds they learned from TV.
- A family member got a nightstick as a Christmas present for entering the police academy.
- The cousin spent Christmas swinging the nightstick around the house while everyone else ate cheesecake in the living room.
- Tim questions what this guy will do in a high-pressure situation and whether leading with a nightstick is the right approach.
- A tweet suggests replacing police with detectives for serious crimes, social workers for other duties, and bar bouncers for neighborhood patrol.
- Tim compares handing someone a nightstick to giving a lightsaber without the Force—just a weapon with no guidance or restraint.