rant · moment 11 of 22
Why Tim Will Never Do Cameo
from #200 - Knife Fights In Malibu | The Tim Dillon Show · #200
6 min
Tim explains why he refuses to join Cameo, riffing on fake personalized birthday messages, his own family relationships, and mocking celebrities like Kathy Najimy and Abby Lee Miller for degrading themselves on the platform.
- Tim refuses to do Cameo because he can't genuinely pretend to care about strangers' personal milestones.
- He acts out what a fake Cameo message would sound like, imagining cheerful birthday wishes to people he doesn't know.
- Tim claims he won't pretend to care about people's lives when other celebrities do it for millions of dollars per year.
- He describes barely being able to call his own family members with cancer, let alone muster enthusiasm for strangers.
- Tim jokes that he'd only do Cameo to announce murders and tragedies rather than celebrate birthdays.
- He explains skipping his cousin's wedding gift because coronavirus risked making him feel good about himself at the expense of others' safety.
- Cameo works ironically—like when someone paid a celebrity to promote a show—but genuine birthday wishes from faded stars feel degrading.
- Tim wonders who actually wants a Cameo from minor celebrities like the fat witch from Hocus Pocus, even if they're talented.
- Hollywood has fallen so far that watching famous people scrounging for money on Cameo to wish strangers happy birthday is humiliating.
- In the '90s, celebrities like Sharon Stone had real mystique; now they're forced to wish people Happy Valentine's Day for cash.