rant · moment 16 of 21
Monkeys Trained to Kidnap Children for Traffickers
from #199 - Monkey Sex Traffickers | The Tim Dillon Show · #199
4 min
Tim relays an unverified claim from Ben that human traffickers are training monkeys on motorcycles to kidnap children, riffing on the absurdity and dark humor of the idea.
- Tim saw a video of a monkey grabbing a girl and dragging her away
- Imagine the trafficker at the meeting pitching the monkey kidnapping idea while everyone stares at him
- Tim compares the monkey trafficking pitch to Wolfgang Puck introducing goat cheese on pizza — initially doubted, then vindicated
- Tim imagines a human trafficker crediting primates as the breakthrough that stopped their arrests
- Tim asks if the next Jeffrey Epstein will be a gorilla and whether animals will start participating in the sex trade
- Tim wonders if the monkeys know what's going on
- They're discussing monkeys kidnapping children for human trafficking on a news show