rant · moment 11 of 21
Comedy Clubs Reopening at 25% Capacity Is Pointless
from #199 - Monkey Sex Traffickers | The Tim Dillon Show · #199
3 min
Tim explains why he refuses to perform to sparse, masked crowds in half-capacity clubs, insists on waiting for full houses, and threatens to only do future shows for "heroes," including dead ones.
- Tim refuses to perform at 25% capacity comedy clubs, calling half-measures pointless.
- The first people returning to comedy clubs are psychopaths who should be fitted with tracking chips.
- Tim tells people reopening to go somewhere other than comedy clubs to eat frozen chicken fingers.
- Nobody should care when comedy clubs reopen while 20 million people are unemployed.
- Tim commits to performing online or anywhere audiences exist, but specifically in Arizona.
- His future shows will be exclusively for heroes — grocery workers, first responders, nurses, and doctors only.
- Tim clarifies he'll perform only for deceased heroes and will charge premium ticket prices.
- Ticket prices will remain high when he returns and audiences will pay dearly for the entertainment.