rant · moment 10 of 21
Everyone's Getting a Chip, So Get Ahead of It
from #199 - Monkey Sex Traffickers | The Tim Dillon Show · #199
3 min
He tells listeners to embrace masturbation and isolation post-quarantine, jokes about people wanting a tracking chip and putting chips in their genitals, and mocks people's fear of reopening measures.
- Tim argues people should preemptively chip themselves before authorities force it, and that they'll secretly enjoy showing off the implant.
- He dismisses criticism of his warnings as people expecting him to personally stop a planned pandemic.
- Tim says when quarantine ends, all bets are off and people should choose their future by chipping themselves.
- Comedy clubs will reopen at 75 people capacity spread sparsely across 500-seat rooms, and Tim insists that will somehow work.
- The ideal way to watch comedy is outdoors with masked audiences, temperature checks, and separated seating.
- A waitress in a hazmat suit handing you a brownie sundae represents the best version of a restaurant experience.
- Tim's solution: go to the woods with guns and keep Wi-Fi until society returns to normalcy, because anything else is pointless.
Vermin Supreme