rant · moment 12 of 26
Going Home to Cliff and Denny's: The Comedy Career Apocalypse Fantasy
from #194 - We're Going Home | The Tim Dillon Show · #194
6 min
Tim delivers an extended fictional monologue predicting stand-up comedians will lose their livelihoods and be forced to move back to their hometowns, marry a local bad boy named Cliff, befriend their old high school bully, and settle for a diminished small-town life.
- Comedians relying solely on stand-up income may need to get day jobs soon as the environment becomes uncertain.
- Time to call your parents, stop ridiculing their religion, and prepare to move back home.
- The apocalypse fantasy: going home to a small town, community college, and working as a waitress at a local diner.
- Meeting Cliff, the town bad boy with a pleather jacket, and his alcoholic mother who hopes you'll save him.
- When Denny's reopens, sitting in a booth with your former cheerleader nemesis, now fat and suffering, eating incompatible foods.
- Working as a receptionist at a failing construction company, doing coke with your boss, resigned to what might happen.
- Realizing this small-town life is more real than anything experienced in Brooklyn, San Francisco, or Chicago.
- Sitting at the local bar with Erica doing coke and taking shots, feeling like a winner for one hour.
- Coming down from the drugs at night, thinking about Cliff and your fat former nemesis as your only friend.
- Denny's pancakes are fluffy and hot tomorrow morning—that's the message for confused comedians about their next steps.