rant · moment 12 of 17
Closing Riff: Coronavirus, Puppets, and the End Times
from #187 - Waffle Sundaes and Puppet Shows | The Tim Dillon Show · #187
2 min
Tim delivers a sarcastic hopeful sign-off about America's future, tying together coronavirus, bio-lab conspiracy theories, and the puppet-show metaphor for a distracted, doomed public.
- Tim opens the closing riff with hope for mankind and the country's bright future.
- Greta Thunberg will lead us all and the water won't rise despite climate change—buy that house by the coast anyway.
- Tim advises dating women with serious problems and just accepting imperfection in America.
- Get cinnamon roll pancakes and watch the puppets because you're lucky to be here at the end.
- We're in the previews for the end, not the main event—waiting for the dollar to stop being the world's reserve currency.
- Coronavirus is China doing biowarfare with something that slipped out in Wuhan province.
- Governments are cooking up your death in a lab while you watch the puppets.
- They'll put little masks on puppets to make it fun when everyone's in hospital beds during the next pandemic.