ad · moment 5 of 15
Ridge Wallet: AIDS, Homelessness, and a Perfect Penis
from #186 - Blagojevich | The Tim Dillon Show · #186
4 min
SponsorRidge Wallet
An extended, absurd Ridge Wallet ad in which Tim claims the wallet cured his AIDS, gave him a family, a six-pack, and a perfect penis, calling it a magic cult object.
- Tim claims to love Ridge wallet more than his family and would watch them die for another one.
- His father bought Ridge wallets for everyone but didn't use the promo code, embodying boomer indifference to helping the next generation.
- Tim describes his pre-wallet life: homeless, living in a tent with AIDS and lesions covering his body.
- Someone put a Ridge wallet in his tent, and Tim recognized it would streamline his life by forcing him to carry only essentials.
- One week after getting the wallet, Tim became a managing director at a bank with an apartment, wife, and three children.
- The wallet cured his AIDS and gave him a perfect seven-and-three-quarters-inch penis with beautiful proportions and color.
- Tim attended his high school reunion and showed off pictures of his wife, kids, and banking career—all because of the wallet.
- Ridge wallet is not just a wallet but a magic object that can curse people to death if you inscribe their name on it.